Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Well, I can also sympathize with you... in that position it's really hard. Even if you were living in your own, and were financially independent, you should always thrive to make your family relations work and be in a nice place. Simply being stubborn and acting carelessly is the way of a child. So... I guess I would maybe advise you to: a) always show to them you are thankful they thought of you and cared enough to get you a phone; b) keep on explaining the reasons you don't want a phone, maybe trying to adapt it to their language and way of life, one day they might understand; c) cooperate, like sometimes take the thing with you even though mostly you leave it at home, also check it everyday at least once a day to make sure you reply back to any message or lost call; Apart from this I only wish you the best.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I usually post my vents in the lounge, but my family too and the job didn't make it go away and neither did the grey hair and wrinkles! My adult kids are getting almost as bad as my parents. noordinaryspider@Libre:~$ man family No manual entry for family noordinaryspider@Libre:~$
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Just like Calher my families are so manipulative against me, and I am come from an oldschool Eastern bloodline, the Eastern people are mostly dunno little from free software, theyre too much dep on LINE, WeChat, WhatsApp which BOTH are obviously nonfree and non-privacy. But I am quite fortunate my families dunno to force me under nonfree and non-privacy messengers, and I resist being called against insane frauds and my families. I also find credit cards is now oldschool after the cryptocurrencies and my families also never trust credit cards.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
This is a relationship issue, not a tech issue. If the relationship is based on control rather than communication, that is going to play itself out eventually. Control and power issues can get ugly in multigenerational families, especially during times of high unemployment. I agree with Mason about defending this boundary. You're going to have to do it eventually, whether it is telephones, choice of partner, choice of career, choice of whether to have children and how to raise them, or any other choice that adults have the right and responsibility to make, regardless of income or employment status. If your parents spent their own money on the telephone handset, I believe the charges on their credit card will be reversed if you simply return it and check the same box on the form that you would for "wrong colour" or "wrong size" on any gift. If you wind up with store credit or a gift card instead, be sure to thank them for whatever you do decide to purchase with their gift. If they signed you up for a government program against your will, I believe that is probably against the laws of most countries and beyond anything a "forum friend" can really do to help other than saying that I am so sorry. :'(
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I think that your concerns about software freedom and privacy are a very good thing, and you should definitly keep them in your heart. However, though many people here might disagree, software freedom is one important thing among many important things in life, and if you feel that not carrying a cell phone becomes to much of a burden, then I advice to make a compromise and get one. You could still try to use as much free software as possible on it, and you can keep an eye on projects that might help to improve the situation (maybe also financially supporting them). I, for instance, have a history in life that makes staying in touch with my friends extremly important for me. Isolation makes me literally sick. Now, it's true that a cell phone is not the only way to stay in touch with them, but nowadays, without a cellphone, the amount of communication will at least drop. That's something many people can live with, but I can't. For me, staying in touch with my friends is more important then software freedom, so I agree to make this compromise. The same way, i'm a very chaotic person who has a hard time organizing things, remembering dates or finding directions, which lead to a lot of serious trouble in the past. With my cellphone, things are way easier and I feel that a burden is taken from me. I don't say that we shouldn't make sacrifices for software freedom, but everybody should decide on her own, whether the sacrifice is too big or not. If you push yourself too hard, chances are that someday you might become completely fed up with the situation and drop your beliefes completely.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
> Simply saying sitting on it and shielding your loved ones from your feelings is unhealthy. You didn't say to be upfront about existing emotions. You said to get angry. As in, you're not angry now, but you should make yourself angry. That is something you should never do.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Yes, sometime people who love you seeing that you are clearly upset by their actions upon you can be a very useful medium to finding a resolution. Simply saying sitting on it and shielding your loved ones from your feelings is unhealthy. Sometimes this includes less pleasant emotions. >Any household that involves this on a regular basis is dysfunctional. Yes, of course. I am not advocating that he suddenly becomes combative all the time. Sometimes, though have a charged interaction causes both parties to reconsider where things stand. All people communicate with more than raw language, it is important to understand this, and to not dance around it if the situation calls for it.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
> Arguments are a useful tool to settle disputes Arguments that are charged with anger? Uh, no. Any household that involves this on a regular basis is dysfunctional.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Perhaps they would be satisfied with you carrying a portable device with a SIP and Jabber client for JMP. When I began to use JMP it was my plan to use such a device in place of a cell phone. It has become a lower priority as I've come to realize that I never really needed a cell phone that badly in the first place, but I have looked into some options. (1) Galaxy Tab 2 7.0 (WiFi only versions) running Replicant The WiFi only version has no modem, so it will not track you, and Replicant is entirely libre. WiFi is non-free, but you can replace it with USB adapter. The bootloader is non-free and can't be replaced. It would be unlikely to fit in anyone's pants pocket, but maybe a coat pocket. (2) GPD Pocket (replacing Windows 10 or Ubuntu with something libre) I may buy this device but am on the fence. If you can get past the poorly-translated casual sexism in their promotional materials, it seems like a neat device. It has a trackpoint and actual medium sized keyboard, which is great if like me touch screens and thumb-keyboards drive you insane. It would fit in my pocket, but may not fit in everyone's depending on how they dress. The main thing I like about it is that it would not only function as a phone, but is also powerful enough for basic desktop usage, so I wouldn't have to carry my laptop around all of the time. The only problem is the Intel firmware, which is non-free even with the ME disabled. (3) PocketCHIP I bought one of these devices and used it for a while. Despite its name, it may not fit in someone's pocket depending on how they dress. WiFi is non-free but can be replaced with a USB adapter. GPU firmware is non-free but is unnecessary for SIP and Jabber clients. The kernel is non-free. I deblobbed it via FSFLA's linux-libre scripts but couldn't figure out how to compile it for the correct architecture. Someone With more knowledge than I have might be able to do it. https://github.com/mason-hock/CHIP-linux-libre (4) DragonBox Pyra Not available yet, but I'm unaware of any freedom issues, and if it is powerful enough for games should be more than sufficient for SIP and Jabber clients. Its predecessor, the Pandora, may also work if you can manage to find one. (5) Ben NanoNote I want one of these but have no idea where to find one. It has no freedom issues, is very portable, and should be powerful enough for SIP and Jabber clients. (5) Neo 900 running Replicant Not available yet, and probably won't be for a while, which is a shame because it would be PERFECT. Totally libre, and if you leave telephony switched off you can be 100% certain that the modem is inactive, yet in an emergency you could switch it back on to call 911. I might just stick with using my laptop until this becomes available.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I didn't say throw a tantrum. I sad get mad and have an argument. Arguments are a useful tool to settle disputes, far more useful than passively aggressively getting more stressed. We also don't know what the home situation is. The behavior sounds evasive and unnecessary at best. Certainly becoming independently should be the goal, but if that is the goal, and there is no barrier to it occurring standing up for oneself she be expected.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I have to completely disagree that to "get mad" and throw a tantrum is ever the right thing to do. I also don't think trying to shun the family that you are still financially dependent on is a wise move. Frankly, if you are out of high school and your parents are still financially supporting you, you should count yourself lucky. Not all parents are able and willing to do this. If you don't like their house rules, work to make yourself financially independent and move out of the house.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I am going to suggest something: Get mad. Part of the reason you are not being respected is because you are not standing up for yourself and are instead playing this passive game of cat and mouse. This just becomes an arms race that will go nowhere other than for it to spread to other parts of your life. If you send the message that 1) you didn't want the phone, 2)having it forced on you makes you mad, and 3) you are willing to make interactions with family members who interject themselves in your life acrimonious they will back off. This is what you do: 1. Set up a phone number and voicemail using your preferred sip set-up 2. Move your cell number to it 3. Toss the phone in a drawer and forget about it 4. If someone makes a comment about using your cell phone simply say you moved the number and don't use it anymore, but you will get the messages. If they persist get mad and have a verbal fight with them, they don't have a leg to stand on, and they can't make you carry it. If you start making it socially costly for them to push you they will likely back off. Sometimes you have to take respect instead of waiting for it to be given.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I think it's the same as here, a government sponsored/subsidized access to Internet. I didn't know they had subsidized give-away phones to pester people with. https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/11/sorry-poor-people-the-fcc-is-coming-after-your-broadband-plans/ "70% of low-income wireless subscribers in Lifeline could have to find new ISPs." "...scale back the federal Lifeline program that lets poor people use a $9.25 monthly household subsidy to buy Internet or phone service. The FCC proposed a new spending cap that potentially prevents people who qualify for the subsidies from actually receiving them. The FCC is also taking steps to prevent resellers—telecom providers that don't operate their own network infrastructure—from offering Lifeline-subsidized plans."
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I can't find much information about that, but it looks like "Lifeline Assistance" is what you're talking about, correct? I get the impression that this involves the government giving poor people phones and phone service at no charge. But you say your parents bought it for you, so which is it? If you're unable to support yourself and want to be independent, I think your first priority should be that. As for those examples of what they might say, I would respond thusly: "Where's your phone?" -> I left it at home. "I know you're trying to ditch your phone!" -> Yes, that is correct. "Why don't you have your phone?" -> I don't want to have it because it's a portable telescreen that also tracks my movement. "This wouldn't have happened if you had your phone!" -> Oh, well.* "Could you please just use your phone? This is taking way longer without it." -> It's OK, I'll do it myself.* * If it's others you are inconveniencing by not using a phone, I would suggest it is your responsibility to shift that burden onto yourself. I would need a specific example to say exactly how you should go about that, though.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I want to talk about strategy. Should I put it in the room of whoever gave it to me, every time it's placed in my path? Should I hide it in a dark storage area that nobody goes to?
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
How are people so persistent?
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
The compromise of checking it once a day from a static location and only responding over JMP is an interesting idea. You're right about landlines. When I get a job, I'll get one for the house. Grandma misses it. You've made a lot of good points. Thank you very much.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
The government program is called the Lifeline program. It's from 1984 and was recently extended to include mobile phones. I'm not a minor, but I'm not earning enough income to support myself. "Where's your phone?" [eyes] (Or "I know you're trying to ditch your phone!") "Don't forget your phone!" "Why don't you have your phone?" "This wouldn't have happened if you had your phone!" "Could you please just use your phone? This is taking way longer without it."
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Everyone here is correct that no one has the right to force you to do anything. That said, I know that it is hard not to let that happen in certain relationships. While I've started using JMP recently, I still have a cell phone that I leave at home but use to communicate with my family. I keep putting off telling them because my views on software freedom are relatively recent and I'm uncomfortable with people I've known for a long time realizing I've changed. Your situation is a little different, in that you have been getting along fine without a phone and people are used to you not having one. Using one would be a step backward. I would suggest getting rid of it or not using it, and explaining to your family why you are uncomfortable using it. Hopefully they will come to accept your decision, even if they don't understand it right now. That said, you know your family and I don't. If you really feel that your relationship with them would seriously suffer from not taking the phone out of the box, perhaps you could try doing what I do with friends who still try to call or text my cell phone. They know that I can only check my JMP messages when I am connected to WiFi, so they'll sometimes try to contact me through my phone hoping I'll respond faster. I intentionally only check my phone once a day, and when I respond I will do so through JMP. It might also help to make sure that you don't allow yourself to be held responsible for the "inconvenience" caused by not having a cell phone. If someone plans to meet you somewhere, you show up on time, and they can't contact you to change plans because you aren't carrying a cell phone, you are not the one who is being irresponsible. If they express worry over the fact that you can't call 911 with JMP, point out that the FCC recommends using a landline or payphone to call 911 because cell phones do not precisely provide your location to the dispatcher, making it difficult for emergency services to respond in time. It's true that landlines and payphones are becoming less common now, but cellphones are the cause, not the solution. Allowing cell phones to become so ubiquitous that they are they only way to get emergency assistance is the greater danger. That's only if you really feel that you must take the phone out of the box. I would suggest that you first refuse to touch the thing all, but family is complicated, I can't know your situation, and I won't tell you what to do. Just remember that no matter how much you are pressured, your principles and desire to be free are not the problem. Don't let anyone make you feel like you are the one being stubborn or difficult.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Are you a minor? What do you mean by "shaming"? What are they saying? What are they telling you to do? What kind of government program?
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Sounds like your family isn't respecting your decisions which is something you can't really control. You can assertively tell them your decision and why and stick with it.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I feel bad giving the device away, because I don't feel it's mine to give away. It's thru a government program. Not turning it on works for a while, just as keeping my mouth shut as police keep badgering me with questions works for a while. But after an hour or a few days with my family continually shaming me, I weaken my resolve.
Re: [Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
Are you asking how to dispose of unwanted electronics, or how to not use them? If the former, give them to someone else. If no one else wants it, give it to someone who takes electronics for recycling. Best Buy does this. If the latter... just don't turn it on? I don't know what else to tell you. What, are you incapable of telling someone that you choose not to use your phone? On a side note, why does anyone need your consent to buy you something? That's an awfully strange authoritarian perspective.
[Trisquel-users] Family Buying Me Cellphone Without My Consent
I have SMS and telephone access with Ekiga and Pidgin, using the JMP service, so I'm not completely without a phone. Yet, today I learned that my family has decided to get a cellphone for me behind my back. Every day I don't open it, they'll ask "Where's your phone?" How do I keep this phone out of my life?
