On Tue, Dec 1, 2009 at 10:40 AM, Shoba Narayan <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> ------Original Message------ >> From: Deepa Mohan >> Sender: [email protected] >> To: [email protected] >> ReplyTo: [email protected] >> Subject: Re: [silk] Some Indians Find It Tough to Go Home Again >> Sent: Nov 30, 2009 18:16 >> >> On Mon, Nov 30, 2009 at 6:03 PM, Badri Natarajan <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>>> t >>> >>> The general points are true, but I mostly have to ask why these people >>> are >>> so surprised that it is difficult to come back - they *have* changed and >>> so has India - moving countries at any level is hard. >>> > > I so agree. As a repat or cowpat, I have pretty strong views about this and > little patience with the whining about how hard it is to assimilate back > home. I think returnees suffer from what I call the "assumption of > altruism" syndrome. In other words, they think returning home is an > altruistic act: most people talk about 'giving back' and 'contributing' to > the home country, when in fact, India is carrying on without their haloed > contributions. I think this assumption of altruism sets up all kinds of > mind-games. You start thinking of India as a hardship posting; you expect > the home country to be 'grateful' for the troubles you are undergoing so you > can contribute and so forth. Returning home is not (or should not be) an > altruistic act. You return home due to circumstances (ill parents) or by > choice, or by tacit agreement (company sends you and you don't protest). > > I returned home three years ago after nearly 20 years abroad. I am > deliriously happy to be back.
I spent 20 days at the Red Hat HQ in Raleigh last month and I too was deliriously happy to be back to Mumbai's beloved pani puri, wada pav, pav bhaji and sundry other stuff. In 98-99, I spent a year in Boston and found that most Indians were constantly caught in the "should I, shouldn't I go back?" kind of vacillation. I did not find the idea of building a life in one place, winding it up and then trying to build another life in another place appealing. There were also enough straws in the wind that indicated things may be changing back home. One such straw was that Unimobile (later Graycell) a.k.a Udhay's former employer, got VC funding from Draper and Walden. In the last ten years, I have never regretted that decision. Venky
