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Alison,
I know what you mean, I have one month to go with my pregnancy so I can go
back to living the lifestyle
that I have known for so long. The past 9 months have been dreadful for me
too. But hang in there, be strong
for your baby
"Alison Conover"
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11/14/2002 01:26 PM [thin] Re: (repost) - I don't
want to eat....
Please respond to thin
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Susan,
I don't know how anyone else feels, but I know what it is like to want it
back. I am pregnant right now and I am going to be heading on strong once
this baby is born. I miss it too much and I think what I miss is the
euphoria that come with starvation. I miss not being able to feel the bed
beneith you, or feeling as if you are floating around in space. I miss
feeling humanless or lifeless, simply unable to sense emotion, touch, pain,
and all the other things that come in life. I miss seeing bones and black
circles under my eyes, I miss people starting at me, knowing something is
worng. I miss exerting power over myself and showing myself that I can do
anything I want.
I have done this for 21 years and I have yet to see my goal weights. I
should grow up, being 26 now with a family but I can't give it up before I
see those numbers staring back at me.
I know how you feel, and whatever you do I am behind you.
Alison
(Normal)
>From: "futurebird" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>To: Multiple recipients of [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Subject: [thin] (repost) - I don't want to eat....
>Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 12:41:03 -0500
>
>::::: the thin page email list
>
>
>wah wah wah call a wahbulance.....
>
>I mean that's not big news, I guess. Of course I'm *hungry* but I don't
>want
>to eat anymore. I miss it too much, I feel so bland and dull. It's like
>I've
>lost touch of my dreams or something. I always think about how nice it
>would
>be to be another person, well a person like me but sort of a quiet thin
>(very thin) person who was sort-of --I dunno ?mystic???
>
>Why is it always so vague? I mean do you guys have this *haunting* image
of
>what it would be like to be "thin enough" or whatever? I can't put my
>finger
>on what it is. But, it's romantic: I get *nostalgia* when I think about
the
>days I spent at university hobbling around over winter break when everyone
>was gone. Eating nothing but soup and not that much soup either. Fainting
>in
>the big stone public library in downtown Pittsburgh and not being found
for
>hours since no one was in there the day before Christmas....
>
>I'm like "ahhhh those were the days!"
>
>
>what in the name of god is wrong with me????????????
>
>Don't I know that I was miserable?
>
>-Susan
>
>
>
>
>
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