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oh jeez i know what you guys mean. i LOVE having dark circles under my eyes. i love when it hurts my ribs to laugh. i love the pain i get from breathing deep. *sigh* i don't see what's so bad about this sometimes. it's better than cutting or something. --- Alison Conover <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > ::::: the thin page email list > > > Susan, > > I don't know how anyone else feels, but I know what > it is like to want it > back. I am pregnant right now and I am going to be > heading on strong once > this baby is born. I miss it too much and I think > what I miss is the > euphoria that come with starvation. I miss not > being able to feel the bed > beneith you, or feeling as if you are floating > around in space. I miss > feeling humanless or lifeless, simply unable to > sense emotion, touch, pain, > and all the other things that come in life. I miss > seeing bones and black > circles under my eyes, I miss people starting at me, > knowing something is > worng. I miss exerting power over myself and > showing myself that I can do > anything I want. > > I have done this for 21 years and I have yet to see > my goal weights. I > should grow up, being 26 now with a family but I > can't give it up before I > see those numbers staring back at me. > > I know how you feel, and whatever you do I am behind > you. > > Alison > (Normal) > > > > > > > >From: "futurebird" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > >Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > >To: Multiple recipients of [EMAIL PROTECTED] > <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > >Subject: [thin] (repost) - I don't want to > eat.... > >Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2002 12:41:03 -0500 > > > >::::: the thin page email list > > > > > >wah wah wah call a wahbulance..... > > > >I mean that's not big news, I guess. Of course I'm > *hungry* but I don't > >want > >to eat anymore. I miss it too much, I feel so bland > and dull. It's like > >I've > >lost touch of my dreams or something. I always > think about how nice it > >would > >be to be another person, well a person like me but > sort of a quiet thin > >(very thin) person who was sort-of --I dunno > ?mystic??? > > > >Why is it always so vague? I mean do you guys have > this *haunting* image of > >what it would be like to be "thin enough" or > whatever? I can't put my > >finger > >on what it is. But, it's romantic: I get > *nostalgia* when I think about the > >days I spent at university hobbling around over > winter break when everyone > >was gone. Eating nothing but soup and not that much > soup either. Fainting > >in > >the big stone public library in downtown Pittsburgh > and not being found for > >hours since no one was in there the day before > Christmas.... > > > >I'm like "ahhhh those were the days!" > > > > > >what in the name of god is wrong with > me???????????? > > > >Don't I know that I was miserable? > > > >-Susan > > > > > > > > > > > >::::: the thin page email list::::: > >http://www.futurebird.com/thin > > > >Need help with the list ? email : > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months > FREE* > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus > > > > > > ::::: the thin page email list::::: > http://www.futurebird.com/thin > > Need help with the list ? email : > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Web Hosting - Let the expert host your site http://webhosting.yahoo.com ::::: the thin page email list::::: http://www.futurebird.com/thin Need help with the list ? email : [EMAIL PROTECTED]
