Talking about missing the point. Reminds me of a woman I went to graduate school with. She was into EST training in a big way. I can't remember what she did but it was something that got me really angry. When I confronted her about what she did and how angry I was all she focused on was how good it was that I was able to express my feelings but wouldn't talk at all about why I was angry.
Gary J. Klatsky, Ph. D. Director, Human Computer Interaction M.A. Program Department of Psychology [EMAIL PROTECTED] Oswego State University (SUNY) http://www.oswego.edu/~klatsky 7060 State Hwy 104W Voice: (315) 312-3474 Oswego, NY 13126 Fax: (315) 312-630 -----Original Message----- From: Louis Schmier [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2007 7:10 AM To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) Subject: [tips] RE: Random Thought: A Quickie on Caring Bill, "Concern parenting," what does that mean, what does that entail. It means, or should mean, I'm serving the cares and needs of my child. What are those needs? They certainly aren't mine; they certainly are not the same for any two children in the same family. One size of concerned parenting certainly does fit all children. God, do I know that. So, as a concern parent, I must be empathetic, sympathetic, loving. I'd listen because however a concern parent I may be, I know I don't know it all; I'm not prepared to deal with every situation. If I am a truly concerned parent, I know I can always improve my parenting. I know that parenting is a constant state of adaptation. As a concerned parent, I must be a constant listener, a constant see-er, a constant quester, a constant learner, a constant reflector, a constant examiner. As a concerned parent, I'd know that I don't always get is right and that I must learn from my screw ups and be ready to change my ways. As a concerned parent, I know that parenting isn't about me; it's about my constantly changing child and her or his constantly changing needs which I must know, respect, and serve because they demand constantly changing parenting. It's that communication thing. Concern parenting, than, is a journey, often an adventure into the unknown. It's not a fixed destination. It is not easy, comfortable, convenient, or safe. To paraphrase an age old axiom, perfect parenting is the enemy of good parenting. Inflexibility is no friend of betterment. Or, as George Will so rightly wrote, certainty, especially of the obstinate, unreflective, judgmental variety, usually screws things up, protests to the contrary. No, we may not like the challenge we hear, but we should hear it for the purposes of information, education, elucidation, and affirmation. In fact, we should welcome it and embrace it rather than try to avoid it. We are not, should not, must not be above self-reflection, challenge, question, self-examination, criticism, change, improvement. If we don't or can't or won't, then that is a reflection of and perhaps a revealing of the true nature of our supposed concerned parenting. To quote the Bard, "fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Make it a good day. --Louis-- Louis Schmier www.therandomthoughts.com Department of History www.newforums.com/L_Schmier.htm Valdosta State University Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\ (229-333-5947) /^\\/ \/ \ /\/\____/\ \/\ / \ \__ \/ / \ /\/ \ \ /\ //\/\/ /\ \_ / /___\/\ \ \ \/ \ /\"If you want to climb mountains \ /\ _/ \ don't practice on mole hills" -/ \ --- To make changes to your subscription go to: http://acsun.frostburg.edu/cgi-bin/lyris.pl?enter=tips&text_mode=0&lang=engl ish --- To make changes to your subscription go to: http://acsun.frostburg.edu/cgi-bin/lyris.pl?enter=tips&text_mode=0&lang=english
