Kathy,
I want to know how your weekend went. I hope you really enjoyed yourself.
Anytime I leave the house, which,
naturally is much less than it used to be, I am nervous that something will go
wrong and embarras me. Life is
just more difficult now. Janice
----- Original Message -----
From: LadyOwl1961
To: transverse myelitis
Sent: Thursday, July 02, 2009 7:28 AM
Subject: Re: [TMIC] Class Reunions (way too honest)
This past May I had 2 reunions. The first was my high schools' 100th Birthday
and my 30th Reunion, the second was my Navy League (was a Wrenette, then
Cadet) in the middle 70's. I made it to the Navy League one but did not make it
back home in time for the High school one (got there the day it ended). Now I
don't think of myself as vain but I did manage to squeeze myself into my size 8
jeans (skinny jeans). "Size 8??? Skinny Jeans???" You may all say, but this is
coming from the girl who never weighed more than 125lbs (and that was when I
was 9 months pregnant). Once TM hit I managed to get up to that 125lbs again
and could not lose it. I also found once I hit 45 EVERYTHING began to settle
around my lower butt. I no longer have my nice perky boobs. I had the bags they
came in. I have grey hairs popping up all over my head too fast for me to pluck
them out. BUT I did go. It was funny because I saw every female (and some of
the males) going through everything I was in the again process. Some looked a
lot older, some looked younger, some were skinny when they had been a little
chunky and some were fat that had been so skinny we thought they had Anorexia.
We all had changed. The class clowns had grown up (all though one did not), we
had matured, and grown up but we still saw each other as what we had been. I
was the girl that all the guys had a crush on (did not find that out till now),
a friend was still the drunk and another was the druggie (only prescription
drugs now) the flirt was still the flirt and last but not least the asshole was
still an asshole. I was also lucky enough to go with a few GOOD friends whom
know all about my TM and when I was asked about it they helped explain. When I
got tired and had to go home, they understood, when I wobbled, they understood
a few people accused me of having too much to drink and were idiots about it
but I just ignored their rudeness. I did have a fantastic conversation with a
doctor (she lives in Finland now) about TM as she works with auto-immune
patients and had never really met someone with it. Overall I had a great time
and it was nice catching up with old friends.
Now a month later and going through my 3rd bout of TM I am up to 145lbs (I
gained 10lbs). I wear size 10 jeans and really don't feel comfortable with my
NEW body. I don't like the way I look or feel. I do not like having a belly or
the feel of my thighs rubbing together. You asked for honest and here it is.
Aging is HELL. Medication side effects are HELL. TM is HELL. If my Reunion
was planned for now I would not go as it would take way too much out of me. I
just don't like myself at this moment; I am too emotional and worried about my
health. I cannot predict if it will be a good day and I only think I can carry
the actress off on a good day. I have a family BBQ on the 4th and I am
obsessing over it already and this is family. Mind you they do not understand
and don't want to about TM so that makes me obsess a little more. So my advice
is wait until the morning of the event and if you feel up to it go if not stay
home. That is my plan for this weekend.
Kathy
----- Original Message -----
From: Janice
To: transverse myelitis
Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 10:47 PM
Subject: [TMIC] Class Reunions
I have another question for you all that want to answer:
I will be having another class reunion shortly and graduating from the
hometown high school, I was usually one of about 15 that
helped to plan it. We had around 500 in our graduating class. Anyway,
I am debating whether or not to be a part of the
planning or even attending the reunion. This is the first reunion since
I got clobbered with TM. I still have to use a cane and
would maybe need my wheelchair. I was fairly well known and I am afraid
I would be answering questions all nite about TM. My question is:
Would you let TM keep you from attending a reunion? Be honest. If
you were faced with this decision this weekend,
what would you do?
Janice
