Andrea,
You are a special spouse - searching the 'net for answers and asking how
you can help show how much you care for you husband and the future of
your family. I have had TM for eight years and have constant pain.
However, I enjoy my life in spite of it. I had a good neurologist who
cared about my level of pain and suggested different meds and doses
until we found a combination that kept the pain at a bearable level.
Oddly, the first medication that I was prescribed when diagnosed with TM
(alng with the steroid regimine) was an antidepressant. The doctor in
the rehab hospital suggested it along with the all the therapy I needed.
It took me 3 to 4 weeks before I admitted that I was in pain, because I
thought the pain was a good sign that I was recovering from TM. Huh!
I usually will not talk about my pain or give an honest answer. Oddly,
I ended up seeking psychiatric help after having TM for six years. My
husband and I were going thru numerous life changes and I needed
professional help in understanding why I was loosing control of my life.
My husband told me that he was jealous that I got to talk to someone and
my therapist suggested that she see him in order to help me. We both
benefitted from the therapy.
The antidepressant that I take (Cymbalta) is also prescribed in the U.S.
for pain so I get a double benefit from it.
I hated hearing that people still had pain after years of TM and I
thought that I was "stronger" than that and I would be one of those to
beat this illness. Well, I am beating it every single day. However, I
have had to reach out to other TMers for the day to day problems and to
professionals for the medications and various therapies.
There is no good answer to the how are you today question. Possibly you
could ask instead - Is there anything I can do for you today?
Inspite of TM I have a good life! There is hope that he will get better
- I never got worse.
Keep in touch. We are a caring group of people who are here to support
each other.
Patti - Michigan (USA)
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On Mon, Oct 10, 2011 at 9:38 AM, Andrea wrote:
Dear TM support group,
My husband became ill with TM in May 2011 and his symptoms have remained
constant. He is in extreme pain from his chest down to his toes. The
pain can be burning, tingling, icy, stabbing… He is now saying that he
wants to end his life because he can no longer endure the suffering. He
says that I am no help and do not understand what he is going through.
This is correct. I do not understand. Because he looks normal, it is
easy to forget that he is in constant pain. This is why I went online
to see if I can find a group that does understand and can possibly
provide hope for him. I realise there is no guarantee that the symptoms
will go away, but after reading your online stories, it looks like it
can be possible.
Additionally, what can a spouse do to provide more support? He has had
the symptoms for almost 6 months and every day plays like a broken
record. I ask every day how he is and he unleashes a long list of
painful symptoms. Besides taking his meds, is there any other therapy I
can arrange for him that may provide relief? I feel useless. He is angry
that I am not doing more, but I do not know what I can do besides taking
care of the home and kids without burdening him with additional tasks.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Warm regards,
Andrea
