> This is an interesting subject; and I agree with Carlyle, I have been totally open 
> with my daughter and son with regards to Internet security and the need to be 
> cautious whilst on the Internet. They are young and impressionable and I hope that I 
> can teach them whilst keeping an open eye on them. My kids often call me in and ask 
> me about some setting or site, how to do this or that, and we have had some great 
> conversations - discussions even - regarding the techy things.
<snip>
> My first advise is to be honest with him and yourself.
> Let him know you are keeping an eye on him - for his
> own protection.
<snip> 
> > My son has internet access which is fine but I think it would be
> > irresponsible of me if I didn't occasionally check what he was up to on the
> > internet. I don't really want him to see when I just check on him to make
> > sure all is well. I could insist he use his PC with the door open but I
> > would like him to feel he is trusted.

Jon - I agree with Carlyle and Brian.  

All my kids have been on the net from a young age.  It is a great joy 
and lots of giggles, when my youngest (2 1/2) started to call my 
wife... "mommy DOT COM".  Or fight over not being at pbskids.org.  
:-)

In the end, none my kids are fixated on the net or the computers, it 
is just another "toy", like a dolly or train.  But though it I have 
come closer with my kids.

My oldest has had VNC on her box, since she was 3.  I used it for 
servicing it late at night when she was sleeping,  Around 4, she got 
into Ghost Writer (TV program) and started to talk about "How Ghost 
Writer came to her computer at night."  She had seen me, servicing 
her computer.  At that time, I had her browser basicly locked to 
disney.com before all the ads where in place.  

My (then) 4 year daughter, suprized me one night.  She had stayed 
awake to see if Ghost Writer would come to visit.  While I was 
servicing the machine, NOTEPAD opened and she typed in:  "ghost 
writer is that you".  I typed back "yes".  My wife and I "talked" 
with her this for over 4 years.  We had to explain to other parents 
about Ghost Writer because my daughter would tell her friends about 
Ghost Writer.  It was a little like "The Great Pumpkin", and we could 
not let on that we were it.  

Know though all this, I was learning a get many things about my 
daughter and her skills.  Remember, she started NOTEPAD, I had not 
shown her how it worked or why.  I found in my firewall logs about 6 
months later that machine was going to other sites, while talking 
with her, she showed me her "secrets" to go where she wanted (Alt-O 
or iexplore barbie.com).  At that point, I give her total contol of 
her machine.  

8, she figured out, who was Ghost Writer.  She had started to VNC to 
my computer - and figured out my password (6 letters and numbers - 
with no personal information).

Now 10 she helps me with the network, building computers, and with 
her 5 & 2 1/2 sisters computer usage and games.  She tried the Ghost 
Writer thing with them, the youngest came out yelling about "somwon 
took computter!!!".  She has instead showed them, how to go to sites, 
which sites have what games, down programs (I thanked her lots about 
this one!  No virus but lots of anamaions), get access to home video 
server and watch Futurama -- now Rugrats.
   
My daughter and I came closer via VNC, first via a special friend - I 
found out who she liked in 1st grade via Ghost Writer before she 
would tell us during dinner.  And about her 1st bad grade, she did 
not want to tell her mom (suggested that she tell her, but again did 
not let on).

About internet/computer usage, I trust my daughters, not because they 
will *NOT* get into trouble, all kids will (and all adults).  Yes, I 
can "see" where they been via the firewall logs and how long, but I 
do not use it against them, except with homework (lack of) issues.
No, I trust them figure it out for themselves, learn about the tools 
(including hammers, saws and screwdrivers) and to ASK for help.  

jackb
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