Kyle,
I am very sorry for your losses. You have every reason to be
depressed. I hope very much you see a doctor or clinic about it
though, as you might find help and support there in one form or
another. Not much to lose and plenty to gain by that. I only wish I
were your age. Life is almost all behind me, and it is all before
you. I suspect it won't be long before you realize how utterly boring
and unexciting life can be after having soared with the excitement of
great though unlikely possibilities. It is an affliction I think.
You have the talent to do great things. The continual disappointment
of not achieving the nearly impossible is part of the game though. I
have lived this manic life of "rosy pre-experimental glow", as Scott
Little calls it, followed by the disappointment mother nature
typically offers. It has made for months of depression for me, even
without the huge burden you carry now. Then this twinkle of an idea
shows up ...
Sometimes I think I am no better than the lowest form of riverboat
gambler. Yet I know it is important that at least some people live
this kind of life, and that it is a life well spent, well worth the
pain and disappointment, at least for useless old retired guy like
me. A young person like yourself needs to smell the roses (or auto
grease if that is your preference) and invest the time to build a
life too, and I hope you find happiness, whatever that means for you.
Don't forget, we are all just an email away.
Thanks for all the kind words and your excellent contributions. You
will be missed.
Regards,
Horace Heffner
On Jun 19, 2007, at 2:46 PM, Kyle R. Mcallister wrote:
Dear Vortexians,
Given a set of circumstances which have come upon me in the past
few weeks, one death, another to imminently die, and another
wasting away with Lou Gehrig's disease (amyotropic lateral
sclerosis), plus a loss through the above death of almost all
contacts or potential contacts within the scientific community,
particularly where they would involve propulsion researches, I find
the time has come to bid you all farewell.
