>AOL is *still* the ultimate luser company, by virtue of sheer numbers, but
>unfortunately they are no longer the home of the 'net's stupidest users.
>
>That honor now belongs to WebTV.
I was thinking about my dad, who, by the above definition, would be a
"luser." When I first read this, I thought "luser" must be some kind of
insult, but since Dad is one, then I guess it must be a form of flattery.
Dad is 78 years old. When he retired at 65, desktop computers had not come
into common use and he had had no reason to learn to use one. Though,
shortly before he retired from Western Electric, he took a course to learn
to build microchips. An electrical engineer, Dad isn't too dumb. He could
probably tell you more about the inner workings of telephones than you'd
ever care to know. And if his security clearances had allowed it, he could
show you how to field strip and reassemble the internal guidance system for
any of the intercontinental ballistic missles such as the Nike Zeus rocket.
My father is also a retired lieutenant colonel in the US Air Force and
served in the Army Air Corps in WWII, during which time he was sent to
Harvard to learn about secret new radar technologies. Dad hasn't been idle
since his retirement. He got his electrical contractor's license after
retiring from Western Electric, and was recently honored by a county
service organization for having wired some 40+ houses for Habitat for
Humanity (at the same time as he was caring for my mother at home while she
took five years to die with Alzheimers). Dad is an accomplished
mathmetician with a phenomenal memory: if he ever met you even once in his
lifetime, he can probably tell you your name, birthday, address, license
tag number, phone number and (if you have them) ham radio call letters. The
downside of his incredible memory is that he never forgets a joke, even a
bad one.
Dad uses a word processing system for typing letters, and the manual for
his system says that it can be used for text-only email. He went down to
the only ISP's office in town, and they told him that he had to have
Windows 95 to use the Internet. He'd be really screwed if I gave him my old
Mac since it's not powerful enough to run a Windows emulator, and I'd be
unable to support him in learning to use a Wintel system. So I decided to
give him WebTV instead, and when it arrives in time for Christmas, Dad will
be among the ranks of the lusers.
Personally, I'm delighted that WebTV has made it possible for lusers like
Dad to have easy Internet access. I just pray that in my lifetime I will
be able to measure up to Dad's standards of intelligence and service so
that I can qualify for a Luser Badge of my own. I would be honored to
receive one. To me, the only true losers are the effete snobs who would
deny people like my father access to the Internet.
Suz
Suzanne Stephens, Dave Stephens Design; Ashland, Oregon
541-552-1190, 541-552-1192 http://www.KickassDesign.com/
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