Great work, Derek and Michelle.
I have some suggestions from an editorial perspective. And these are
just suggestions. They might look like a lot, but they are really small
things. In addition, I tested links.
In terms of editing, I only got to the splash page and the Learn More
landing page. If you want me to go through the remaining three landing
pages on Saturday, let me know.
I couldn't test all the links on the splash page yet, but I tested all
of the links on all the landing pages. (I accessed the Learn More page
from Derek's link below. The other three landing pages I tested came
from the beta splash3 version). Here are some dead links I found:
On the Learn More page: The link to _MartUX mBE_ didn't work. I don't
know if the domain doesn't exist or the server was down.
On the Find Help page: Under "Groups that Help": Website
On the Get the Source page:
-Under "Communities that Code Core Technologies": Fault Management, X
Window System
-Under "Communities that Build on User Technologies": HPC Developers,
Clusters, Applications, Distributions
-Under "Source Bookmarks" sidebar: system libraries
-Under "Related Projects" sidebar: Image Package System (I see a typo in
the URL)
On the Participate help, I found no dead links!
Cheers,
Alysson
*On the splash page:
*
1. I agree with Ron that the Go to OpenSolaris.org link is kinda redundant.
2. To match the comma style used elsewhere, I'd suggest adding a comma
after ZFS. So: Includes DTrace, Containers, ZFS, and more
3. I don't know if you're intending to follow Sun's legal guidelines. In
case you are, here's the Tmark entry for "DTrace":
"DTrace or D/Trace is not approved name. This feature should be referred
to as "Dynamic Tracing" or "Dynamic Tracing Framework" in all prominent
locations and in first text use. Then, once defined, "DTrace" can be
used as an abbreviation only - e.g., Solaris(TM) Dynamic Tracing (DTrace)"
*On the Learn More landing page:*
1. Under the first section, "Learn More About OpenSolaris":
o The first link on the page (operating system) is a dead link.
o 2nd paragraph: I'd suggest saying "The OpenSolaris OS is free..."
because you're talking about the OS (not the project itself or the
community). Also, should it be "open sourced" with a "d"?
2. Under the section "Who Develops OpenSolaris?"
o 1st paragraph: Add a comma after "consolidations." Also, should it be
"working *on* the different projects"? Also, the different uses of
"project" is a bit confusing. Is the "OpenSolaris developer project" the
umbrella project or one of the various "technology projects"?
o 2nd paragraph: Add "OpenSolaris" before "developer project" in case
someone goes directly to this subsection. Also, I didn't see a FAQ for
"contributions," though I did see one for the Sun Contributor Agreement.
In my mind, they aren't the same. Also, I see just one link to a list of
technical FAQs. So, I'd suggest the following rewording: "You'll also
find FAQs for licensing, filing the Sun Contributor Agreement, and a
link to a list of technical FAQs."
3. Under the section "Which Release Fits My Needs":
o 1st paragraph: I'd suggest the following tweaks:
The OpenSolaris source code *has* a variety of uses, including *serving
as* the basis for future versions of the Solaris OS product, other
operating system projects, and third-party products and distributions.
Following is a list of current releases.
o 2nd paragraph: Is it "LiveCD" or "Live CD"? I see it both ways on this
page. Also, I don't understand the use of a man page before the word
"release" (as in "pkg(5) release"). Also, if you're intending to follow
Sun's legal guidelines, we should use the registered trademark symbol
per Tmark (the R with the circle around it, but not the TM or the SM,
for web pages). So, that would mean we'd have: Intel(R) Xeon(R) EM64T
o 3rd paragraph: Remove the hyphen in "bi-weekly." Also, will people
know you mean every two weeks, as opposed to twice a week? (I hope so!).
Also, add a period after "Nevada" and then start a new sentence. And I'd
suggest tweaking, as follows:
*It's* updated every two weeks* and is* available as a free download.
Also, could you spell out "SVR4"? Lastly, it would be nice if the
Solaris Express Documents link would take you directly to that section,
instead of the top of the page.
o In the list of community distributions:
-Is "*NIX" correct? I've never seen that before
-Could you spell out "SXCR"?
-If you're following Sun's legal guidelines, add the registered
trademark symbol (R) after SPARC. And I'd tweak as follows: "...that is
available for SPARC(R), x64, and x86 platforms." (Aren't these three
separate platforms?)
-Per the distro web site, the distro is called "Schillix" with a
lowercase "x." (Also fix that in the sidebar.) Also, add the (R) after
UNIX. Also, add a comma after "X64." So, you'd have: Schilli*x* is an
OpenSolaris based UNIX*(R) *Live CD and distribution for the x86, *x64,*
and EM64T architectures.
-Per the distro web site, the distro is called "MilaX" with an uppercase
"X." (Also fix that in the sidebar.) I'd also suggest some tweaks, as
follows: "MilaX is a *small-size* Live CD distribution *that* runs
completely off a CD or a USB *pen drive*.
===
Derek Cicero wrote:
All,
Working off everyone's feedback and the pages Michelle put together,
here is the latest plan for 5/5:
http://www.opensolaris.org/sc/derek/splash_index.html
Only the 'learn' link works right now the others will look the same.
There will five pages, one splash and four landing pages.
Each page will have link to the current site.
I'm not sure about the 'from now on, skip this page' cookie. Do people
feel like that's a 'must have' given that any /os/ bookmarks will still
be accurate?
Comments welcome.
Derek
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