Okay, can someone explain to me the whole fascination with THE RING?? Maybe what I don't get is the whole surprising someone with something they may not like (Diane, your tale of bridezilla woe is a fantastic example of this!).
Maybe I don't get it because in my job I spend my day wrist-to-shoulder deep in soil, plant matter, seeds, fish emulsion, and sometimes, literally, poop...well, semi-composted manure, but the point is really I CAN'T wear rings at work. But why spend huge amounts of money on something that may not be right?
Granted, after my engagement, we did spend about 3 months drawing and designing, and finally, inking matching "engagement tattoos." Which maybe sorta explains getting engaged in the burrito barn...but they're perfect, they express *us,* and that's what matters...that we BOTH chose, and approved.
So, can someone, either gender, I don't care, explain why picking out a ring for someone else is something that's taken sooooooo seriously?
Amy "Organic Gal"
--- In [email protected], "denisesudell" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], Diane Lochner
> dlochund@ wrote:
> >
> > I have zero issues with the proposal...his bride-to-be is the one
> who didn't like the proposal. i don't know what kind of fantasy she
> had in her head
>
> That was going to be my question: what kind of proposal did she
> want?
>
> I do have an unappreciated-engagement story from my own life, in
> which I was the Bridezilla-equivalent. (Yes, the story involves me
> and another woman.) But as it turned out, my hesitations were well-
> founded.
>
> To make a very long story as short as I can manage: I was involved
> with a woman to whom I proposed on the spur of the moment at
> Thanksgiving 1990. Not sure why, but for some reason she, not I,
> ended up in the position of buying a ring -- probably because I told
> her at some point that rings were important to me.
>
> Possibly like your Bridezilla, Diane, I had a whole fantasy about my
> then-GF and I going out together to pick out rings that meant
> something to both of us. Unfortunately, I did not share this
> fantasy quickly enough with my then-GF, who went out by herself and
> bought a ring with which to surprise me at Christmas. A couple of
> weeks before the holiday, I began to suspect this was coming, and
> didn't know how to tell her that I had envisioned a joint ring-
> buying process, so I just kept my mouth shut and my fingers
> crossed. (Let me add that she was susceptible to flying into a rage
> at the slightest provocation.)
>
> Well, Christmas came, and she gave me the little white box, and in
> it was the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. (It was sterling silver,
> which I do love, but it had little . . . things sticking out of the
> top. Non-sparkly, non-shiny things that looked like little
> silver . . . bricks. It looked more like an instrument of torture
> than anything else.) I tried to swallow my horror, and asked in
> false cheeriness, "Gosh, honey, why did you choose *this* ring?"
> But I am a lousy liar, and she behaved just as I was afraid she
> would: flew into a rage at my failure to properly appreciate her
> gift.
>
> To keep this story from becoming even more interminable than it
> already is, I'll just say that in the end, I had two different
> people (unknown to each other) "intervene" with me to tell me that I
> was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I should get out of
> it, which I eventually did. Embarrassingly, one of the things that
> made me realize that I needed to leave my GF behind was passing a
> jewelry store window alone one night and unexpectedly bursting into
> torrential tears over everything I would be giving up by staying in
> the relationship -- symbolized, of course, by that awful ring.
>
> I suspect it probably makes a difference if you're heterosexual and
> the proposal starts a whole massive set of Wedding Machinery
> grinding. That sure didn't happen with my ex and me. Thank Gawd.
>
> BTW, with my current honey, I'd be happy to go to the courthouse in
> shorts and a beat-up t-shirt -- if only they wouldn't turn us away
> at the courthouse door. But that's a whole 'nother rant.
>
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