Okay, this might be a moderately long post, but keep faith that I will relate 
it to zen 
practice by the end.  That being said:

Sleep paralysis (hereinafter referred to as "SP") is something I experience 
occasionally.  
Anyone else get this?  About five times annually since the teenage years, 
within usually 
minutes of falling asleep but sometimes in the middle of the night, I wake up 
paralyzed 
but oriented (knowing exactly where I am, who I am, when I am, etc.) with the 
most 
intense fear I have experienced in my life so far.  All I know when it is 
happening is I can't 
even open my eyes, but I NEED TO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE RIGHT F---ING NOW 
because I can definitely tell something or someone is in the room, and it might 
just try to 
"get" me.  I am absolutely positive that these are not nightmares - I am awake 
and lucid, 
even able to feel the bed and hear sounds in the room - and within seconds of 
it 
beginning I recognize that it is SP and think "Oh God, not again!"  Like most 
people, if I 
wake up in the middle of the night I can get up and walk out of the room 
without light 
because I know where everything is in the room.  SP is no different, except 
there is an 
extra entity in the room, and it is apparently malevolent.  Inside my mind, I 
am FRANTIC, 
trying to kick and scream and throw any muscle I can in any direction, anything 
I can do to 
just get "unlocked" and run like hell... but on the outside, I can tell that I 
am motionless 
and silent, and I feel like a "sitting duck".  After about thirty seconds,  I 
can open my eyes, 
quickly sit up, and whatever I was afraid of is gone.  If I go right back to 
sleep, I will 
experience the same thing within minutes, so I walk to the kitchen for some 
water that I 
am not thirsty for.

The only time this experience was pleasant was when I fell asleep in the middle 
of the day 
on a couch with three other people awake in the room.  I woke up paralyzed, but 
not 
scared.  When I tried to jostle myself awake, I realized I could open my eyes, 
and upon 
doing so, I found myself weightless, floating a few feet from my body!  I can 
normally hear 
everything in the room during SP, but this time, I looked around the room and 
could see 
everything that was really happening,.  I could see and hear the football game 
on the TV, 
in sync with the announcer that I could clearly hear.  I could see my 
step-sister typing on 
the computer in the corner in sync with the clicking of the keyboard that I 
normally would 
be able to hear.  Within about 30 seconds, I was about ten feet from my body 
when I 
regained movement, thereby putting me in corpus again.  I immediately thought, 
"WOW, 
I'll be dammed if that wasn't a out of body experience!!"  This was about six 
or seven 
years ago, and ever since I've really wanted it to happen again, but it hasn't.

In retrospect, knowing that there is no real danger, I always tell myself that 
the next time I 
find myself awake and paralyzed I should immediately start meditating.  "Just 
BE afraid" I 
tell myself.  "I am not going to be in any real physical danger, so just 
completely 
experience that fear for all it's worth and see where it wants to take me."  I 
want to just lay 
there in meditation, let myself be paralyzed and afraid, but the fear is just 
too great.  While 
it is happening I can remember thinking about how I wanted to meditate during 
it, and 
realizing that this is my chance, but I always immediately think "Screw that!  
I'm outta 
here!!" because the fear is overwhelming and I "know" there is an evil being in 
the room 
with me - a clear and present threat.  I guess the big problem is knowing how 
to engage 
in meditation in the face of a fear that takes priority.  If anyone reading 
this has any 
suggestions about how I can overcome this great fear, any questions or 
comments, please 
post them here, and accept my thanks in advance.



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