Empower every Sangha member to create his/her own reality: When he/she
joins the Sangha, he/she should be required to sign a statement as to
whether he/she is or is not open to intimate relations with the teacher,
which statement will be shown to the teacher, who understands that
his/her position is in jeopardy if he/she violates a student's wishes.
...
--ED
--- In [email protected], Kristy McClain <healthyplay1@...>
wrote:
>
>
> Hi Anthony,
>
> From a logical viewpoint, I think your initial comment may be right.
Your follow-up adds a condition that seems prudent and correct, but
changes it somehow because we are now dealing with two un-enlightened
beings. Enter: Ego, jealousy and "property rights".
>
> I believe that if the subject of fidelity is discussed and agreed upon
by both in the beginning of the relationship and / or marriage, then
whether or not one or both engage in sex with others, is a non-issue.
Does a marital contract (in the USA) preclude taking on other lovers, or
is it only inserted in the vows if both agree to them up front?
>
> For me, its a non-issue anyway. I see this type of thing as silly. I
am very confident that my husband loves me, and wanted to make this
commitment--for many reasons. My self-esteem and sense of security is
not threatened by the idea that he may have sex with another woman.
>
> I think its the secrecy that creates the problem. When you review the
biology and anthropology on sexuality and males, its clear than
monogamy is not a reasonable option for most. So its the psychology and
property rights that mandate this, historically.
>
> As you point out, one dons another cap--switching from enlightened
mind to lustful mind. When sexuality is repressed or regulated by social
norms, it so often seems that the most heinous acts result. I recognize
that many choose celibacy while on their spiritual path. i respect those
choices. I'm just unclear why having sex with more than one person,
even if married, is considered sexual misconduct. I thought zen was
ridding itself of all the Judeo-Christian morality norms. I thought one
of the teachings is to cease the judgement of self and others.
>
> Kristy
