sometimes the spouse is struggling with his or her own demons..unaware...not all of us have the buddha aware feedback...merle Negative. ;-)
The spouse will tell you the TRUTH, and in language that most people will understand (not that the awakened-one will embellish the truth, it's just better to get your report from the one who is on the receiving-end of the compassion, I think, and who may not use technical Buddhist terms). She'll say that she is amazed at the change in her hubby since he became awakened, and during the time that he remained awakened. There's not any general-perspective to be trusted, I think: if you ask specific questions of specific people who have interacted with the awakened-one, then you will get specific answers, real-life answers. I still recommend that you do this if you are interested, in all seriousness. Ask at a sangha, for example, where there may be among the sangha some couples who practice (almost all sanghas have some married folks, unless they are monastic sanghas). A much, much, more convincing way to answer the question and to get this information is for you to practice devotedly and continuously YOURSELF, and have an awakening or opening experience -- a "wu" or "mu" experience, actually to experience emptiness yourself -- in which state wisdom and compassion arise spontaneously. Have that experience once, at least (it may last for weeks or months), and you will appreciate that the old masters and the scriptures have not been lying to you, but have been telling the truth in very simple language. But this requires that you engage in zen practice, with a teacher and a sangha, probably. Most people have "success" that way, rather than never practicing with a teacher or sangha. "Success" is just seeing our nature clearly (and not losing sight of it for a while). The teacher will also let you know that you have succeeded, but you will be the first to know. Zen is the "sudden" school, so I cannot talk about gradual development, only about sudden awakening (following deep practice carried out in daily life over a long period of time, usually, and with the opportunity to attend lengthy practice retreats with a teacher and sangha). But, meanwhile, yes, I seriously suggest that you ask a spouse of an awakened practitioner if her spouse has changed (say, for the better). ;-) You will get an interesting answer, I assure you now, with others here as my witness to this prediction. Good luck! --Joe > Anthony Wu <wuasg@...> wrote: > > I see Giuseppe, you mean the spouse of the compassionate husband will not be > compassionate?
