Hi Bill(not Bill!),
You can get three month of basic meditation classes via email by
registering here. http://www.chanliving.org
Follow the instructions with dedication. Don't begin until you can
commit to it.
Let me know if you have any questions in due course. It's free.
Our teacher teaches enlightenment in this life. Following are other web
sites (with English) of ours -- more Buddhist in wording.
http://www.heartchan.org
http://www.buddhachan.org
jm
On 8/20/2012 3:18 PM, William Rintala wrote:
I am a perpetual beginner when it comes to meditation. I've been
doing it for 40 years, mostly Vipasana in structure. Cultivating a
Mind-Body Awareness through guided meditations with various teachers
and proponents of Yoga such as Ram Das (aka Richard Alpert) and Swami
Jnaneshvara Bharati. I was drawn to Zen by its simplicity and by the
works of Alan Watts. I have attended 2 weekends of Sesshin with a
group affiliated with the American Zen Association, at the New Orleans
Zen Temple where Robert Livingston Roshi is the Abbot. I am not a
member there though, they wanted $400 a month to be a member and you
have to be a member for at least 3 months before you can receive
dokusan from Livingston Roshi. It just felt like a scam to me. I've
also done some sitting with the Blue Iris Sangha
http://blueirissangha.org/ they follow a Vietnamese teacher named
Thich Nhat Hanh. The group has just moved to Lien Hoa Temple which is
now too far away for me. So I try an do it on my own while I am
looking for someone closer.
My Zazen experience -
I understand that you simply need to count your breaths but here's
what I experience.
1 - Everything feels good. No pains, cramps, gas, bladder spams, etc.
2 - I focus on my nose as the breath comes in and goes out.
1,2,3,4,5.... I rarely get past 5.
3 - First I feel a sense of detachment and I can't feel the air
moving in or out of my body at all. Focusing on my breathing becomes
more like trying to focus on the blood moving through my veins, I know
that it's happening but where?
4 - Then my mind takes off like a dog chasing a car, but really more
like a dog trying to chase many cars. It often reminds me of the way
my grandmother's ringer washer would agitate cloths. Just a chaos of
thought fragments.
5 - I become aware that I am afloat in this chaos and bring my mind
back to trying to count my breaths 1,2,3,....
6 - by the end of a half hour I feel less like I am caught in the
agitation of a washing machine and more like I'm a cork bobbing in
very rough water.
All in all the experience is very stressful and discouraging. Reading
what you have all posted here I am encouraged that my experience isn't
unusual however
I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she said "Oh, you have Monkey
Mind!" Monkey Mind! So what can you do about Monkey Mind?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Bill not Bill!
Find what makes your heart sing…and do it!
