From: nypd25838 I think if I can figure this out it will solve a lot for me.>>
Me too. Let me tell you of something that is a very big confidence destroyer for me. My mother lives with me and my family. I love her very much, but we do not get along. She loves to put me down. She also loves to create arguments with me. She suffers from Depression, and she is supposed to take medication. Sometimes she is very nice for a few days or a couple of weeks, and I presume that she is taking her medications. We get along great when she is in a good mood, and I am always trying to be supportive and tell her that she is a good mother and that I love her very much. Everyone at home gives her a lot of love, especially her grandchildren. Anyhow, what never fails to totally upset me and gets me angry and argumentative and then destroys my confidence is that when she seems like she is in a very good mood, I will ask her for anything, like "pass the salt" or "can you make coffee" or "do you know where the remote control is" or something along those lines and she will say something like "Why don't you get it yourself, I'm not your slave." (or something along those lines) in a very crude and mean way. The way she says it is more shocking than what she says, as she will glare at me like she wants to kill me, and it never fails to destroy my happy or positive mood, and it usually results in some kind of argument. The fact that she always manages to do this whenever I am in a very positive mood is more antagonizing. She never visibly changes her attitude before making these remarks. She will be in a totally positive and friendly mood and then all of the sudden start dropping a whole bunch of putdowns and negative remarks on me. You name it, she has said it about me and to me. When I am just "regular" or otherwise not in a visibly good mood, Mom never acts like that. It seems to me that she cannot stand to see me in a good mood! What seems to antagonize her the most is anytime that my wife and my children are all together and we are laughing or joking around. It also bothers me that I always fall for the same thing. Mom has been doing this for many years. I have reached the point where I am very conscious to try to never ask her for anything, and we hardly talk but it is not easy to live like that. I never wanted to leave my mother alone and move away when I was younger. Now that I am getting older I am realizing that there never will come the time when she will tell me what a good son I am. Her endless BS will just continue until she dies, and she will probably tell me that she hates me when she is on her deathbed. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> What would our lives be like without music, dance, and theater? Donate or volunteer in the arts today at Network for Good! http://us.click.yahoo.com/WwRTUD/SOnJAA/i1hLAA/S27xlB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Noble Eightfold Path: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration, Right Livelihood Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZenForum/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
