Re: [ZESTPoets] the relevance of those little dots...

[jane bhandari]

The little dots, otherwise known as ellipsis, tend to be over-done, as in this case.
Think of them as a curtain to be drawn, inviting the reader to imagine what follows. They should be used very very sparingly or not at all, as they make your piece look pretentious.
 
Ok. I have removed the dots as requested, and made two corrections, one typo, and one spelling.
 
Either you leave it with no punctuation save the full-stop (but then think about your line-breaks as a form of punctuation) or punctuate WITHOUT ellipsis. in which case remember that a comma in the wrong place can totally change the meaning of a line, which is why legal documents and patents are written without them. Read 'Eats, Shoots, and Leaves' for more information.  
 
Also be careful about using capitals, as in Again - what purpose does it serve, or is it a typo?
 
I think 'sparkles' is not quite right. Try 'sparkles in' or 'sparks'.
 
Hope this is of use.
Anand, why did it have to be me to do this?
 
Jane
 
Sometimes when we are aloneI try to hold him onbut then heHe,the little twinkle that sparkles my eyestraces his path down my cheekstops for a split secondbrushes my lipssmiles and disappearsoblivious of whatever happensto me, the one left behindAnd then AgainI ask myselfIWHY?PrernaSOLITARY TEARprerna rungta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Hi jane...Anand asked me to send this peice of mine to you...wout the dots...i cud nt understand the relevance... can u throw somelight on tihs issue for me...Sometimes when we are alone..I try to hold him on...but then he...He,the little twinkle tht sparkles my eyes...traces his path down my cheek..stops for a split second...brushes my lips...smiles and dissappears..oblivious of whatever happensto me.. the one left behindAnd then AgainI ask myselfI....WHY?....PrernaSOLITARY TEAR 
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