all your points make sense Shireen, when in a situation you've mentioned. this specific incident mentioned here was not conducive to most of what you've suggested. yes, in other situations they could definitely be adopted, but when in the situation i've mentioned, not many have the time or inclination to see much beyond themselves. or maybe i was dealing with a particularly reticent group. the dynamic changes when in a group. why, i am still to understand. the getting up from the seat is something a lot of us do i think. my main concern here is the absence of initiative to even try. i get the absence of eye contact bit being a problem, but there are definitely other ways to combat that i'm sure.
On 2/28/17, Shireen Irani <[email protected]> wrote: > since Avinash has invited a discussion on this, here are my 2 bits on > a few possible, but not necessarily optimal, solutions: of course what > Payal went through is very real, and these tips are not in any way, a > counter to her experience. these are just a few pointers off the top > of my head that may help some1 in a particular situation, , a lot of > which u all may already be aware of. > 1. if i know that a particular person is going to be in the same > social gathering as myself, whether from work, friends, or family > members, i'd ask them a day in advance, if they'd be ok to be with me > during that gathering, and accompany me during meals, etc. if i can > ask more than 1 person, nothing like it. i could even divide the time, > spend it half with 1 accompanist, and the other half with the other. > often when the accompanist realises that he/she was not the only > option, they are more eager/ willing to accompany. > 2. if i'm on the same table with a group of people, and if every1 is > part of a single conversation, then i too will proactively participate > in that conversation, even if i am not asked something directly. i'd > of course hope that i say something remotely sensible/ interesting > enough for people to take notice of me, and realise that here is also > a person at the table, equally part of the group. its not always > possible, but it is just 1, among many strategies to use when > feasible. > 3. sometimes, i can be the initiator of a conversation at the table. > by making some general statement about the food, or the function, > something mostly positive, to which other people may be likely to > respond. e.g. this biryani is really awesome! or, has any1 tried the > dessert yet? > 4. if i know that a particular person is sitting somewhere near me, > then i can call out to her and start off a conversation for every1 to > hear. e.g. Payal, i read your latest blog. it was wonderfully written! > this is surely a good conversation starter, and there's very little > chance that people will ignore me after that. at least not till the > end of that particular conversation. > of course, people sitting immediately next to me would be the simplest > to start chatting to, but those conversations may not reach the rest > of the group. > 6. this last 1 may not be very appealing to many, but it has worked > for me. if i want something and there's no1 around to call, i just get > up off the chair and start walking towards nowhere. this is almost > always likely for some1 to notice me and offer to help. smile. > > 7. i could also inform the main organiser/ host of the event, to > arrange for some1 to be with me during the program and accompany me > throughout. i think that often its not that people don't want to help. > they just avoid it because they don't know how to initiate/ interact > with the likes of us. in such cases, and from all the above points, > the main thing to take home is that for better for worse, we are the > ones who need to give them that slight nudge/ push, to engage/ > interact with us. sadly, people haven't reached that level of > sensibility yet, for them to not feel awkward around us. i in fact was > reading about this just this morning. don't remember where. that > children usually never find it difficult to come forward and initiate > an interaction with us. it is the adults. who start building these > walls as they become less sure of their own selves. and thereby, less > sure of the "others". in quotation marks. so as long as we're the > first to extend a hand, we can hope that we've done our bit and that > the ball is no longer in our court. > > Shireen. > > On 2/28/17, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: >> While recounting her own experience from a professional gathering, She >> flags off a burning issue; why people remain indifferent towards blind >> people. >> This could set a tone for further deliberation. She felt alone when >> nobody turned up to offer her assistance to have a dignified meal. She >> felt unpleasant cause people talked at her not to her. What are the >> solutions we could offer in similar situations to us and our fellow >> beings? we also go to attend marriages, parties, and clubs. Many >> amongst us probably skip such gatherings due to ensuing indignities >> awaiting them. This post provokes me to ponder upon what could be >> prospective solutions: Is accompanying sighted to such gathering if >> not invited morally justified? or demanding right to have meal in >> dignified manner from the organisers is a way out? or in a conference >> or in a seminar; just striking a conversation with a stranger solely >> to get food is a smart strategy. I expect the Access Indians will take >> the conversation further. The URL is pasted below. >> http://blog.sexualityanddisability.org/2017/02/im-blind-not-invisible/ >> >> >> >> On 2/28/17, Niharika Pandit <[email protected]> wrote: >>> Hello everyone, >>> >>> Greetings from Point of View! >>> >>> Today on the SexDis blog, we have published an essay 'I'm blind, not >>> invisible' by Payal Kapoor. >>> http://blog.sexualityanddisability.org/2017/02/im-blind-not-invisible/ >>> >>> 'It is great for the non-disabled to talk about us, but not with us! How >>> then will the gap that has been created between us ever be bridged?' >>> >>> Happy Reading! >>> >>> Best, >>> Niharika Pandit >>> Point of View >>> >>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >>> of >>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> [email protected] >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>> the >>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails >>> sent through this mailing list.. >>> >> >> >> -- >> Avinash Shahi >> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >> >> >> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >> of >> mobile phones / Tabs on: >> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> [email protected] >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >> the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >> mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
