Completely agree, This is one of its kind situation where none of your theories of being assertive comes to your rescue.
On 3/1/17, Payal Kapoor <[email protected]> wrote: > and, Manish, the site is definitely inaccessible to leave a comment at. > i tried responding to a comment left there but the reply link does not > bring up an edit box or a prompt to sign in or anything of the ssort. > > On 3/1/17, Payal Kapoor <[email protected]> wrote: >> all your points make sense Shireen, when in a situation you've >> mentioned. this specific incident mentioned here was not conducive to >> most of what you've suggested. yes, in other situations they could >> definitely be adopted, but when in the situation i've mentioned, not >> many have the time or inclination to see much beyond themselves. or >> maybe i was dealing with a particularly reticent group. >> the dynamic changes when in a group. why, i am still to understand. >> the getting up from the seat is something a lot of us do i think. my >> main concern here is the absence of initiative to even try. >> i get the absence of eye contact bit being a problem, but there are >> definitely other ways to combat that i'm sure. >> >> On 2/28/17, Shireen Irani <[email protected]> wrote: >>> since Avinash has invited a discussion on this, here are my 2 bits on >>> a few possible, but not necessarily optimal, solutions: of course what >>> Payal went through is very real, and these tips are not in any way, a >>> counter to her experience. these are just a few pointers off the top >>> of my head that may help some1 in a particular situation, , a lot of >>> which u all may already be aware of. >>> 1. if i know that a particular person is going to be in the same >>> social gathering as myself, whether from work, friends, or family >>> members, i'd ask them a day in advance, if they'd be ok to be with me >>> during that gathering, and accompany me during meals, etc. if i can >>> ask more than 1 person, nothing like it. i could even divide the time, >>> spend it half with 1 accompanist, and the other half with the other. >>> often when the accompanist realises that he/she was not the only >>> option, they are more eager/ willing to accompany. >>> 2. if i'm on the same table with a group of people, and if every1 is >>> part of a single conversation, then i too will proactively participate >>> in that conversation, even if i am not asked something directly. i'd >>> of course hope that i say something remotely sensible/ interesting >>> enough for people to take notice of me, and realise that here is also >>> a person at the table, equally part of the group. its not always >>> possible, but it is just 1, among many strategies to use when >>> feasible. >>> 3. sometimes, i can be the initiator of a conversation at the table. >>> by making some general statement about the food, or the function, >>> something mostly positive, to which other people may be likely to >>> respond. e.g. this biryani is really awesome! or, has any1 tried the >>> dessert yet? >>> 4. if i know that a particular person is sitting somewhere near me, >>> then i can call out to her and start off a conversation for every1 to >>> hear. e.g. Payal, i read your latest blog. it was wonderfully written! >>> this is surely a good conversation starter, and there's very little >>> chance that people will ignore me after that. at least not till the >>> end of that particular conversation. >>> of course, people sitting immediately next to me would be the simplest >>> to start chatting to, but those conversations may not reach the rest >>> of the group. >>> 6. this last 1 may not be very appealing to many, but it has worked >>> for me. if i want something and there's no1 around to call, i just get >>> up off the chair and start walking towards nowhere. this is almost >>> always likely for some1 to notice me and offer to help. smile. >>> >>> 7. i could also inform the main organiser/ host of the event, to >>> arrange for some1 to be with me during the program and accompany me >>> throughout. i think that often its not that people don't want to help. >>> they just avoid it because they don't know how to initiate/ interact >>> with the likes of us. in such cases, and from all the above points, >>> the main thing to take home is that for better for worse, we are the >>> ones who need to give them that slight nudge/ push, to engage/ >>> interact with us. sadly, people haven't reached that level of >>> sensibility yet, for them to not feel awkward around us. i in fact was >>> reading about this just this morning. don't remember where. that >>> children usually never find it difficult to come forward and initiate >>> an interaction with us. it is the adults. who start building these >>> walls as they become less sure of their own selves. and thereby, less >>> sure of the "others". in quotation marks. so as long as we're the >>> first to extend a hand, we can hope that we've done our bit and that >>> the ball is no longer in our court. >>> >>> Shireen. >>> >>> On 2/28/17, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: >>>> While recounting her own experience from a professional gathering, She >>>> flags off a burning issue; why people remain indifferent towards blind >>>> people. >>>> This could set a tone for further deliberation. She felt alone when >>>> nobody turned up to offer her assistance to have a dignified meal. She >>>> felt unpleasant cause people talked at her not to her. What are the >>>> solutions we could offer in similar situations to us and our fellow >>>> beings? we also go to attend marriages, parties, and clubs. Many >>>> amongst us probably skip such gatherings due to ensuing indignities >>>> awaiting them. This post provokes me to ponder upon what could be >>>> prospective solutions: Is accompanying sighted to such gathering if >>>> not invited morally justified? or demanding right to have meal in >>>> dignified manner from the organisers is a way out? or in a conference >>>> or in a seminar; just striking a conversation with a stranger solely >>>> to get food is a smart strategy. I expect the Access Indians will take >>>> the conversation further. The URL is pasted below. >>>> http://blog.sexualityanddisability.org/2017/02/im-blind-not-invisible/ >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On 2/28/17, Niharika Pandit <[email protected]> wrote: >>>>> Hello everyone, >>>>> >>>>> Greetings from Point of View! >>>>> >>>>> Today on the SexDis blog, we have published an essay 'I'm blind, not >>>>> invisible' by Payal Kapoor. >>>>> http://blog.sexualityanddisability.org/2017/02/im-blind-not-invisible/ >>>>> >>>>> 'It is great for the non-disabled to talk about us, but not with us! >>>>> How >>>>> then will the gap that has been created between us ever be bridged?' >>>>> >>>>> Happy Reading! >>>>> >>>>> Best, >>>>> Niharika Pandit >>>>> Point of View >>>>> >>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing >>>>> accessibility >>>>> of >>>>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>>>> >>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>> [email protected] >>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>> >>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>> please >>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>> of >>>>> the >>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>> veracity; >>>>> >>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>> mails >>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >>>> Avinash Shahi >>>> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >>>> >>>> >>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >>>> of >>>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Search for old postings at: >>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>>> >>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>> [email protected] >>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>> >>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>> please >>>> visit the list home page at >>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Disclaimer: >>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>> of >>>> the >>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>> veracity; >>>> >>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>> mails >>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>> >>> >>> >>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >>> of >>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> [email protected] >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>> the >>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails >>> sent through this mailing list.. >>> >> > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > -- Ajay Minocha Mob : +91-9584076767 E mail : [email protected] [email protected] Skype: ajayminocha2 Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
