On Monday, September 10, 2012 11:36:16 AM UTC-7, Leonard Silva wrote: After some research, I find that the kindly old man that I knew as a child > may not have been all that nice. Stories are starting to arise of abuse, > excessive drinking, and estrangement of his children...So, my question for > the group is: If you were putting together a family history for the > generations to come, how would you handle this? >
I am in the minority on this one so far, but if I was one of the people you are writing this for I would definitely want to know the whole story. These kinds of things have a way of being carried down through future generations and impacting descendents who never even knew the person. One of my grandfathers was an alcoholic and philanderer, the other was a sociopath and convicted felon. The former died when I was three so I didn't know him well, but the latter died when I was in my 20s and I was quite close to him, and they both loved me. But their behaviors absolutely had a huge impact on my parents (and their mothers), which effected their life choices and in turn impacted me. Part of what is interesting about genealogy (to me) is knowing that I am, in part, a product of those who came before me, and trying to understand who those people were and how they may live on in me, in good ways and bad ways. The things we take for granted in ourselves - character traits, behaviors, ways of speaking, attitudes toward life - are always influenced by what we grew up with, and what we grew up with came from somewhere. So Leonard, I would encourage you to at least mention these things in your family history. Make it clear that they are unsubstantiated but persistent rumors, and that this was not your own experience with your grandfather, but assume that there may have been some truth to them. The point is not to judge your grandfather or defame him to future generations, but to give his descendents as accurate a picture as possible of where they came from and what, perhaps, makes them who they are. My 2ยข worth... -- To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected]. Follow the confirmation directions when they arrive. For more options, such as changing to List, Digest, Abridged, or No Mail (vacation) mode, log into your Google account and visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Azores. Click in the blue area on the right that says "Join this group" and it will take you to "Edit my membership."
