As researchers we bear the responsibility of documenting facts, not gossip. Therefore, if we come across "stories" in our research, which disparage the memory of the person we are researching - we, who do not know what truth such stories carry, if there be any truth at all, have the ultimate responsibility not to perpetuate such "gossip," but, to provide an accurate and objective report on the facts that our research have uncovered. By doing so, we can feel secure that we have provided the last decent account of a person's life - something that I would hope that anyone who researches my life would afford to me after I am gone and unable to speak up to defend myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On Sep 11, 9:41 am, Steve Peters <[email protected]> wrote: > On Monday, September 10, 2012 11:36:16 AM UTC-7, Leonard Silva wrote: > > After some research, I find that the kindly old man that I knew as a child > > > may not have been all that nice. Stories are starting to arise of abuse, > > excessive drinking, and estrangement of his children...So, my question for > > the group is: If you were putting together a family history for the > > generations to come, how would you handle this? > > I am in the minority on this one so far, but if I was one of the people you > are writing this for I would definitely want to know the whole story. These > kinds of things have a way of being carried down through future generations > and impacting descendents who never even knew the person. One of my > grandfathers was an alcoholic and philanderer, the other was a sociopath > and convicted felon. The former died when I was three so I didn't know him > well, but the latter died when I was in my 20s and I was quite close to > him, and they both loved me. But their behaviors absolutely had a huge > impact on my parents (and their mothers), which effected their life choices > and in turn impacted me. > > Part of what is interesting about genealogy (to me) is knowing that I am, > in part, a product of those who came before me, and trying to understand > who those people were and how they may live on in me, in good ways and bad > ways. The things we take for granted in ourselves - character traits, > behaviors, ways of speaking, attitudes toward life - are always influenced > by what we grew up with, and what we grew up with came from somewhere. > > So Leonard, I would encourage you to at least mention these things in your > family history. Make it clear that they are unsubstantiated but persistent > rumors, and that this was not your own experience with your grandfather, > but assume that there may have been some truth to them. The point is not to > judge your grandfather or defame him to future generations, but to give his > descendents as accurate a picture as possible of where they came from and > what, perhaps, makes them who they are. > > My 2¢ worth...
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