The Baha'i Studies Listserv
Dear Ahang,
I think it is implicit in following passage from the Aqdas:
It hath been laid down in the Bayan that marriage
is dependent upon the consent of both parties. Desiring
to establish love, unity and harmony amidst Our
servants, We have conditioned it, once the couple's
wish is known, upon the permission of their parents,
lest enmity and rancour should arise amongst them.
And in this We have yet other purposes. Thus hath
Our commandment been ordained.
(Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 42)
That seems to imply to me that parents aren't supposed to be involved
until the couple has announced they wish to get married. I remember
when I first became a Baha'i I was told that just as it was hard for
us (western Baha'is) to understand why we had to get parental consent
it was hard to eastern Baha'is to understand why parents couldn't
arrange their children's marriages. When I got to India, however, I
found out Baha'is in the East had arranged marriages all the time!
This issue came up in an article I wrote a few years ago on the Baha'i
Faith for the Encyclopedia of Sex and Gender. I was criticized because
I had mentioned about the requirement for Baha'is to get parental
consent before marriage but did not give the other half, that
arranged marriages were prohibited. I justified my approach by
pointing out that a violation of the former resulted in sanctions
whereas the latter did not.
My article, by the way, failed to pass review but I successfully
appealed the decision to the NSA.
warmest, Susan
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