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first,
Baha'u'llah is not bound by the Aqdas.
second, how many of the marriages of Mirza Huseyn Ali's children happened
after 1875?
3rd, at least one of the Master's daughters did her own arranging--granted
with odd results--there is a letter from Him to her that contains something
about in autumn one longs to be by the fire, be comfortable... with a phrase
like "let the marriage be announved".. he was away at the time. my dim recall
is that the husband was a local mullah.
4.
A couple should study each other's character and spend time getting to know
each other before they decide to marry, and when they do marry it should be
with the intention of establishing an eternal bond.
The Universal House of Justice, November 2, 1982, in Bahá'í Marriage and Family
Life, p. 20
(Compilations, NSA USA - Developing Distinctive Baha'i Communities)
notice the "they decide"
from the Bic
:"The
process of preparation includes a requirement for
parental approval of the choice of a spouse. This
does not mean that Bahá'í marriages are arranged.
Individuals propose marriage to the persons of
their own choice. However, once the choice is made,
the parents have both the right and the obligation
to weigh carefully whether to give consent to, and
thus guide, their offspring in one of life's most
important decisions.
(Baha'i International Community, 1992, Magazine - The Baha'is)
going towards pilgrims' notes:
Regarding the provision concerning the consent of the
parents of both parties to the marriage, 'Abdu'l-Bahá once
wrote to an inquirer that this consent was to be obtained
after a mutual satisfactory arrangement had been arrived
at by the contracting parties. Before that the parents had
no right of interference. This abrogates the practice usual
in the Orient by which the parents arrange the marriage,
often without the consent or wish of the persons most
interested. He further says that as a result of these provisions
the strained relations between relatives-in-law which
have become proverbial in Christian and Muhammedan
countries, are almost unknown among the Bahá'ís, and
divorce is also a rare occurrence. +F4
(Howard Colby Ives, Portals to Freedom, p. 106)
somewhere is paris talks (which is of course pilgrims' notes.. ) there is a
comment that i have evidently mangled in my head, because i can ocean none of
it.
my bad recall is "first you must find one who is pleasing to you. before then
the parents have no say." ---but ocean can find no variant of it.
perhaps some scholar might recall...
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