Appreciate that. Don't think the "where there's smoke there's fire" issue applies here, though. It would if there were several *different* women complaining about one man...
-------------------- Lindsay Morris CEO, TSMworks Tel. 1-859-539-9900 lind...@tsmworks.com On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 10:34 AM, Ron Blechner <contra...@gmail.com> wrote: > Hi Lindsay, > > I realize this is a tricky topic, so apologies in advance if my brevity > comes off as bruskness. > > These two suggestions work for Amherst Contra. > > As a proxy complaint comes in, a board member would seek out the source. > Anonymous complaints are permitted, and a high level of ensuring that we > ask open-ended questions, and not leading questions. > > We also wear board member buttons at dances and make regular announcements > about us being available for any reason. Usually 4-7 members of our board > attend any dance. > > You might speak privately to Will Loving, our lead organizer, if you're > interested in more specifics. > > I would also caution about making such definitive statements as "just an > accusation". In my experience, where there's smoke, there's fire. For every > accusation, there's five people who are too uncomfortable to speak up. > > That said, I have seen the success of proactive addressing of issues. The > biggest benefit is simple: > > Address it early when it's small, and not a huge deal. Maybe it's a simple > misunderstanding. Maybe the person needed a clear boundary drawn. But wait > until there's a pile of complaints, and you've already lost dancers and the > resolution will need to be more severe for the offender. > > Best regards, > Ron Blechner > On Sep 9, 2015 10:08 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" < > callers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: > >> Chris Weiler's Positive Solutions >> <http://www.puttinonthedance.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Positive-Solutions-Chris.pdf> >> on dealing with problem dancers, and the CDU Policy >> <http://www.puttinonthedance.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/09-12-16-CDU-policy-on-inappropriate-behavior.pdf> >> are thoughtful and useful documents. >> >> We have a different problem here. >> >> One woman often complains to board members about men she sees as creepers >> or sexual predators. She reports their misbehavior on behalf of their >> victims. The victims don't initiate these reports.* >> >> Many others *don't* see these men as creepy or inappropriate. Recently >> one of the "victims" clarified that her discomfort with the man was a year >> ago and she'd long ago dealt with it to her satisfaction. The man in >> question had heard only rumors that some nameless woman was unhappy about >> some nameless thing he'd done. >> >> This woman also publicly asked that young women who feel harassed should >> talk to her about it. We feel that's the Board's job, not hers. >> >> It seems that this woman is fishing for - or even inventing - >> "naughty-dancer" problems. >> >> When a married man gets accused of being a sexual predator, his wife has >> to wonder if it's true. This adds to any marital tensions they may already >> have. So, while this woman is not actually punching anybody in the face, >> it seems to me that she's committing violence. >> >> How should we handle this? >> >> - I think we need a "No proxy complaints" policy - i.e., the victim >> has to speak up (and then our process will usually fix simple >> miscommunication issues). >> - We need to clearly identify board members, so genuine victims know >> who to talk to. >> >> But does anybody have other ideas about preventing one person's issues >> from poisoning the atmosphere of a mostly friendly dance? >> >> ____ >> * I know, victims often have a hard time stepping up and complaining, so >> advocacy may be a good thing. But that's a different discussion. In these >> situations, there's no victim; there's no predator; there's just an >> accusation with little to back it up. >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Callers mailing list >> Callers@lists.sharedweight.net >> http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net >> >>