Maybe. Maybe not. My point was that we should be very, very careful about making a definitive statement about something being "just an accusation", especially when in your example, there was a second problem - even if it was a year earlier. On Sep 9, 2015 10:39 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" < [email protected]> wrote:
> Appreciate that. Don't think the "where there's smoke there's fire" issue > applies here, though. It would if there were several *different* women > complaining about one man... > > -------------------- > Lindsay Morris > CEO, TSMworks > Tel. 1-859-539-9900 > [email protected] > > On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 10:34 AM, Ron Blechner <[email protected]> wrote: > >> Hi Lindsay, >> >> I realize this is a tricky topic, so apologies in advance if my brevity >> comes off as bruskness. >> >> These two suggestions work for Amherst Contra. >> >> As a proxy complaint comes in, a board member would seek out the source. >> Anonymous complaints are permitted, and a high level of ensuring that we >> ask open-ended questions, and not leading questions. >> >> We also wear board member buttons at dances and make regular >> announcements about us being available for any reason. Usually 4-7 members >> of our board attend any dance. >> >> You might speak privately to Will Loving, our lead organizer, if you're >> interested in more specifics. >> >> I would also caution about making such definitive statements as "just an >> accusation". In my experience, where there's smoke, there's fire. For every >> accusation, there's five people who are too uncomfortable to speak up. >> >> That said, I have seen the success of proactive addressing of issues. The >> biggest benefit is simple: >> >> Address it early when it's small, and not a huge deal. Maybe it's a >> simple misunderstanding. Maybe the person needed a clear boundary drawn. >> But wait until there's a pile of complaints, and you've already lost >> dancers and the resolution will need to be more severe for the offender. >> >> Best regards, >> Ron Blechner >> On Sep 9, 2015 10:08 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" < >> [email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Chris Weiler's Positive Solutions >>> <http://www.puttinonthedance.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Positive-Solutions-Chris.pdf> >>> on dealing with problem dancers, and the CDU Policy >>> <http://www.puttinonthedance.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/09-12-16-CDU-policy-on-inappropriate-behavior.pdf> >>> are thoughtful and useful documents. >>> >>> We have a different problem here. >>> >>> One woman often complains to board members about men she sees as >>> creepers or sexual predators. She reports their misbehavior on behalf of >>> their victims. The victims don't initiate these reports.* >>> >>> Many others *don't* see these men as creepy or inappropriate. Recently >>> one of the "victims" clarified that her discomfort with the man was a year >>> ago and she'd long ago dealt with it to her satisfaction. The man in >>> question had heard only rumors that some nameless woman was unhappy about >>> some nameless thing he'd done. >>> >>> This woman also publicly asked that young women who feel harassed should >>> talk to her about it. We feel that's the Board's job, not hers. >>> >>> It seems that this woman is fishing for - or even inventing - >>> "naughty-dancer" problems. >>> >>> When a married man gets accused of being a sexual predator, his wife has >>> to wonder if it's true. This adds to any marital tensions they may already >>> have. So, while this woman is not actually punching anybody in the face, >>> it seems to me that she's committing violence. >>> >>> How should we handle this? >>> >>> - I think we need a "No proxy complaints" policy - i.e., the victim >>> has to speak up (and then our process will usually fix simple >>> miscommunication issues). >>> - We need to clearly identify board members, so genuine victims know >>> who to talk to. >>> >>> But does anybody have other ideas about preventing one person's issues >>> from poisoning the atmosphere of a mostly friendly dance? >>> >>> ____ >>> * I know, victims often have a hard time stepping up and complaining, so >>> advocacy may be a good thing. But that's a different discussion. In these >>> situations, there's no victim; there's no predator; there's just an >>> accusation with little to back it up. >>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Callers mailing list >>> [email protected] >>> http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net >>> >>> > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >
