> On 7/28/05, loathe <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: >> My wife's Aunt and Grandmother both live with >> us, and we have our two little boys. While >> there are times that it is nice, I personally >> would have to say that it makes things much >> more chaotic and difficult to manage. >> >> I mean if it were just us and the kids we >> could afford a nice little house or townhouse >> some place and I think just have a much >> better lifestyle. >> >> I would never ask them to leave or begrudge >> them anything. Just trying to add a >> perspective of someone who is there right now.
For some odd reason I don't seem to have received this list message from Tim, just Dana's reply... So... anyway... It's true that not every "extended family" is created equal, and certainly some arrangements are more challenging to manage than others for pragmatic reasons. A sick elder who needs special help and/or medicine can be particularly taxing (most people will just cram them in a nursing home if they have the money). But then the same is true of any person elder or otherwise who has a handicap. And as I mentioned in a previous post, these days any addition to a family poses a significant housing challenge. However... when you drop the housing problem (which is largely created by politics of all things), something else happens. As the extended family grows, the pragmatic issues of daily living actually become less burdensome. So although it may seem a greater challenge when taking in one or two extended relatives (who I'm guessing don't contribute to the household financially), getting past those couple to an even larger extended family will then alleviate many of those added burdens. When a house has 4+ adults of working age (either earning income or tending the garden if food is grown locally -- or some combination, as communes which grow their own food now also have to pay hefty property taxes in addition), and enough reasonably able-boddied seniors (retired) to care for the children, then you find yourself in a situation where... assuming that you're not talking about an entire family full of over-acheiving workaholics (which I don't find very likely) or lazy bums (which is admittedly more likely), there will almost always be someone around at the right time and in the right place to deal with any given situation that needs dealing with. The chaos gives way to the comfort of knowing that no single individual (you) or couple needs to take care of the entire household. This may require some organization -- a written schedule so people can see when they're responsible for what chorse, etc. but it's still easier with the extra hands. As the workload becomes light of course, so do the challenges of dealing with extra burdens like sick elders or family members with handicaps. The more people there are in the house, the more likely it is that someone is available at any given moment to help someone who has a problem. Maybe think of it like your job -- if you left, theoretically someone would take up your workload. How is this possible, since you've left a vacuum? Answer: more people. Is it easier for the company to adjust if it's a smaller company? Hell no! The company that has the greatest ability to compensate for the vacuum you leave behind is the largest conglomerate. Same economics apply at home -- more people means more available "man hours" to deal with the chores. I know this can work because there are working models of people living hailly this way today... just not that anyone in the mainstream has ever heard about... s. isaac dealey 954.522.6080 new epoch : isn't it time for a change? add features without fixtures with the onTap open source framework http://www.fusiontap.com http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Protect your mail server with built in anti-virus protection. It's not only good for you, it's good for everybody. http://www.houseoffusion.com/banners/view.cfm?bannerid=39 Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:167168 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
