15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/significant other 
is taking his/her sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when 
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute 
intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 
in housewares,'...and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers 
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding 
department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why 
can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a  mirror while you 
pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he 
knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme 
from 'Mission Impossible'.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different 
size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK 
ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal 
position and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again'. 

and last but not least,

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ... 'Hey! We're out of 
toilet paper in here!'.

Michael Corrigan
Programmer
Endora Digital Solutions 
www.endoradigital.com
630/942-5211 x-134

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