I'm a man who would LOVE to be a "loser" -
guess I need to decrease the food and increase the exercise...
<sigh>
:-)
-Ben


> -----Original Message-----
> From: Erika L. Walker-Arnold [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Saturday, April 06, 2002 2:52 PM
> To: CF-Community
> Subject: RE: Egypt: Land of the Gods
> 
> 
> Having been in a very, very long (8 years), good/bad 
> relationship with a man
> who has a gambling problem, that codependency thing .... it's 
> a hard thing
> to shake.
> 
> We know the man is a loser...or should I say, not right for 
> us, but we love
> them. We think they need us, because nothing else is right in 
> their lives
> .. only to find out, we were not anywhere close to the top of their
> priority list, no matter how much they said we were.
> 
> He was never mean to me. Helped with the dishes, the laundry, did the
> shopping, but in the end, because of gambling, everything 
> disintegrated. I
> ended up supporting the both of us.
> 
> It took me two years to break up with him, because it killed 
> me to hurt him,
> but in the end it was only hurting me, but I have to say, I 
> would do it all
> over again, because the path I took led me to Phil, the 
> choices I made, gave
> me the opportunity to be where I am today. We had tons of 
> great times, but
> I'll never forget the lessons I learned.
> 
> She may, someday, see that she is in a dead-end road, and 
> hopefully, she
> will have learned something.
> 
> Erika
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> >>|-----Original Message-----
> >>|From: Beth Fleischer [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> >>|
> >>|Because she is a pitiful codependent freak.
> >>|
> >>|----- Original Message -----
> >>|From: "Howard Owens" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >>|To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >>|Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 9:38 PM
> >>|Subject: RE: Egypt: Land of the Gods
> >>|
> >>|
> >>|> Why does she stay with this loser?
> >>|>
> >>|> One of the discussions my wife and I have all the time --
> >>|cause it drives
> >>|> her up the wall -- is women who make bad choices in
> >>|boyfriends/husbands.
> >>|> She has a couple of friends who have been in one bad 
> relationship after
> >>|> another.  When she tells them they should find a nice stable guy,
> >>|employed,
> >>|> a little nerdy, not living the fast life, they say, "Oh, a guy
> >>|like that
> >>|> wouldn't be enough of a challenge; he wouldn't be 
> interesting enough."
> >>|Some
> >>|> women want it all -- a guy who is wild, carefree, dangerous,
> >>|but doesn't
> >>|> sleep around or abuse them or use them.  Good luck 
> finding that guy.
> >>|>
> >>|> H.
> >>|>
> >>|>
> >>|> -----Original Message-----
> >>|> From: Beth F [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> >>|> Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 1:55 PM
> >>|> To: CF-Community
> >>|> Subject: Re: Egypt: Land of the Gods
> >>|>
> >>|>
> >>|> I forgot the kicker- he spends all her money on drugs too
> >>|>
> >>|>
> >>|> ----- Original Message -----
> >>|> From: "Larry C. Lyons" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >>|> To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> >>|> Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 11:54 AM
> >>|> Subject: Re: Egypt: Land of the Gods
> >>|>
> >>|>
> >>|> > Seems to me that friend's husband is thinking he has a
> >>|pretty good deal,
> >>|> > she supports him, cleans up after him, etc. It sounds 
> like he has a
> >>|> servant
> >>|> > rather than a wife.
> >>|> >
> >>|> > larry
> >>|> >
> >>|> >
> >>|> > At 09:46 AM 4/5/02 -0900, you wrote:
> >>|> > > > Wait a minute.  What about when a woman marries a man
> >>|who tells her
> >>|> that
> >>|> > >it is her responsibility to cook, clean, etc.?  Isn't 
> her choice to
> >>|marry
> >>|> a
> >>|> > >man like that the same as choosing it herself? Do you take
> >>|issue with
> >>|> what
> >>|> > >she's being told to do or the fact that she's being told to do
> >>|anything?
> >>|> > >
> >>|> > >
> >>|> > >Well as far as my relationships go, I personally don't
> >>|think partners
> >>|> should
> >>|> > >TELL each other to do anything - they ask.
> >>|> > >
> >>|> > >If both the woman and the man feel that its her job 
> to do all the
> >>|cooking
> >>|> > >and cleaning then its her choice.
> >>|> > >
> >>|> > >But i have a friend who is married to a guy who is jobless.
> >>|He stays at
> >>|> home
> >>|> > >with a four year old but refuses to do any cooking,
> >>|cleaning or laundry
> >>|> or
> >>|> > >shopping....  She asked him to pitch in and he said 
> "What am I, the
> >>|> maid?"
> >>|> > >
> >>|> > >So he feels its her job to do all of the working, cleaning,
> >>|cooking and
> >>|> > >laundry because he isnt' the maid  (i.e. because he 
> isn't female).
> >>|Thats
> >>|> > >bullshit, plain and simple.
> >>|> > >
> >>|> > >
> >>|> >
> >>|>
> >>|>
> >>|
> 
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