> Quantas Airlines > > > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of > humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS > pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, > Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. > > (Problem stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and > Response stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.) > > PROBLEM: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. > RESPONSE: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. > > PROBLEM: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. > RESPONSE: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. > > PROBLEM: Something loose in cockpit. > RESPONSE: Something tightened in cockpit. > > PROBLEM: Dead bugs on windshield. > RESPONSE: Live bugs on backorder. > > PROBLEM: AutoPilot; in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. > RESPONSE: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > PROBLEM: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > RESPONSE: Evidence removed. > > PROBLEM: DME volume unbelievably loud. > RESPONSE: DME volume set to more believable level. > > PROBLEM: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > RESPONSE: That's what they're there for! > > PROBLEM: IFF inoperative. > RESPONSE: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > PROBLEM: Suspected crack in windscreen. > RESPONSE: Suspect you're right. > > PROBLEM: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined > airplane; the Pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly) > RESPONSE: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > PROBLEM: Aircraft handles funny. > RESPONSE: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > PROBLEM: Radar hums. > RESPONSE: Reprogrammed radar with words. > > PROBLEM: Mouse in cockpit. > RESPONSE: Cat installed ______________________________________________________________________ Signup for the Fusion Authority news alert and keep up with the latest news in ColdFusion and related topics. http://www.fusionauthority.com/signup.cfm
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