Larry-

but you posted it,
and I really enjoyed it,
so the thanks were appropriate.
:-)

-Ben

> Which I could take credit for it, but it was just passed along to me.
> 
> larry
> 
> --
> Larry C. Lyons
> ColdFusion/Web Developer
> Certified Advanced ColdFusion 5 Developer
> EBStor.com
> 8870 Rixlew Lane, Suite 204
> Manassas, Virginia 20109-3795
> tel:   (703) 393-7930
> fax:   (703) 393-2659
> Web:   http://www.ebstor.com
> email: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
> --
> 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 11:54 AM
> > To: CF-Community
> > Subject: Re: FW: Quantas Airlines Maintenance Logs
> > 
> > 
> > ROFLMAO
> > espec as an aviation nut
> > thanks Larry
> > 
> > > > Quantas Airlines
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack 
> > a sense of
> > > > humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance 
> > complaints by QANTAS
> > > > pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. 
> > By the way,
> > > > Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
> > > > 
> > > > (Problem stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and
> > > > Response stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.)
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
> > > > RESPONSE: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> > > > RESPONSE: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Something loose in cockpit.
> > > > RESPONSE: Something tightened in cockpit.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > > > RESPONSE: Live bugs on backorder.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: AutoPilot; in altitude-hold mode produces a 
> > 200-fpm descent.
> > > > RESPONSE: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > > > RESPONSE: Evidence removed.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > > > RESPONSE: DME volume set to more believable level.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > > > RESPONSE: That's what they're there for!
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: IFF inoperative.
> > > > RESPONSE: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Suspected crack in windscreen.
> > > > RESPONSE: Suspect you're right.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a 
> > piston-engined
> > > > airplane; the Pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
> > > > RESPONSE: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Aircraft handles funny.
> > > > RESPONSE: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, 
> > and be serious.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Radar hums.
> > > > RESPONSE: Reprogrammed radar with words.
> > > > 
> > > > PROBLEM: Mouse in cockpit.
> > > > RESPONSE: Cat installed
> > > 
> > 
> 
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