Which I could take credit for it, but it was just passed along to me.

larry

--
Larry C. Lyons
ColdFusion/Web Developer
Certified Advanced ColdFusion 5 Developer
EBStor.com
8870 Rixlew Lane, Suite 204
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tel:   (703) 393-7930
fax:   (703) 393-2659
Web:   http://www.ebstor.com
email: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
--

> -----Original Message-----
> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 11:54 AM
> To: CF-Community
> Subject: Re: FW: Quantas Airlines Maintenance Logs
> 
> 
> ROFLMAO
> espec as an aviation nut
> thanks Larry
> 
> > > Quantas Airlines
> > > 
> > > 
> > > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack 
> a sense of
> > > humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance 
> complaints by QANTAS
> > > pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. 
> By the way,
> > > Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
> > > 
> > > (Problem stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and
> > > Response stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.)
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
> > > RESPONSE: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> > > RESPONSE: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Something loose in cockpit.
> > > RESPONSE: Something tightened in cockpit.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Dead bugs on windshield.
> > > RESPONSE: Live bugs on backorder.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: AutoPilot; in altitude-hold mode produces a 
> 200-fpm descent.
> > > RESPONSE: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > > RESPONSE: Evidence removed.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > > RESPONSE: DME volume set to more believable level.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > > RESPONSE: That's what they're there for!
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: IFF inoperative.
> > > RESPONSE: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Suspected crack in windscreen.
> > > RESPONSE: Suspect you're right.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a 
> piston-engined
> > > airplane; the Pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
> > > RESPONSE: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Aircraft handles funny.
> > > RESPONSE: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, 
> and be serious.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Radar hums.
> > > RESPONSE: Reprogrammed radar with words.
> > > 
> > > PROBLEM: Mouse in cockpit.
> > > RESPONSE: Cat installed
> > 
> 
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