I can help you on your way to step 2.
Step 2. Figure out a way to become a hot woman.
<cf_just_as_tasteless>
Step 2a. Move to Iran in the summer. (that will take care of the "hot").
Step 2b. Steal something with your p_e_n_i_s (that will take care of...never
mind)
</cf_just_as_tasteless>
Thoughts borrowed from Dennis Miller rant,
Jerry Johnson
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