I'm sorry but I completely! give up!

[Chris Gilland]

Folks, I have literally tried everything.  Look, I appreciate over the past 
nearly week now all you all's help with this stupid peace of excuse my 
language, dog shit computer, really, I just cannot enmotionally do thjis any 
more.  I have no effort of strength left in me.  All this getting turned 
down is really starting to bother me.  It's not you all, but it seems no one 
in the business field is willing to get me a Mac, or help me find a donated 
one.  I almost went as far as to say If everyone put forth like $20 on this 
list, to one responsible designated collecter who then once the funds all 
were there would order the Mac and have it shipped, with all the members we 
got $20 I am sure for each would do the trick, but again, I can't ask that. 
That is not fair to any of you all.  I just am out of options.  Lou, thank 
you for all your help, Same to Mike, Alivia, and all you who directly 
helped, but face it:  we're gett6ing no where.  My parents as a child always 
tought me never say never and never give up, but I'm sorry, I can't resist 
now doing so.  It's been over 2 years that I've asked for one, literally 
since the end of 06, and I have gotten nowhere since.  I wish I had a job, 
but no one in their mind wants to hier me.  I'm always just the dumb idiot 
who knows nothing.  I barely with my income of SSI make anywhere near enough 
to do much of anything.  I make $600.  $400 of that is for rent/utilities, 
100 or so is for cable, and another 100 is for my cell phone, and finally 
about 50 for my lan line.  You do the math.  O, then let's not forget about 
my groceries.  I get $60 food stamps, but being I spend about $100 a month 
on food, so that means I gotta pay like $40 to $50 for that.  See, these 
aren't things  want, these are the bear necessities.  I don't have $700 for 
a Mac to be throwing around.  I'm sorry, I just don't.  I put an ad up on 
Craigs list and heard nothying, a friend found something in one of his 
cities but the idiot won't e-mail him back.  my church won't help, Apple 
Care won't help, my local store won't help, United Way won't help, Hospice 
won't help, Free Cycfle said this is too big of an item  and if I ever post 
a want for this or the like again I'll be banned.  EBay is even still too 
expensive, plus you never really know what you're getting.  Best Buy won't 
help, Circuit City won't help, Comp USA won't help, my local library refuses 
to hellp, it seems none of my close friends will help, my family won't help, 
I have literally gone as far as to stand at the street end of my driveway 
for 4 hours straight for 3 days in a row and when a car would come by, I'd 
scream bloody murder until they stopped only then to ask if they had one or 
knew someone who did.  Call me mentally insane, frankly if you do I don't 
give a ***.  I just am a determined individual who has worked day after day, 
night after night, my arse off to get this, and cannot.  I'm reaching for 
the rainbow, but the potta gold's still completely out of sight, forget 
about reach.  I can't even put Ubuntu on this darn machine thanks to the Mac 
not working well with the Ubuntu installer with Orca speech.  So, what's my 
final ultimate decision?  Well, I'm giving this about one more business 
week, so, basicly until Friday.  If by then I've not managed to scrounge of 
a Mac to be delivered or shipped at no shipping cost nor cost for the PC, 
screw the monitor, mouse and keyboard.  I have those.  I just need a frickin 
tower/CPU.  Anyway, I'm sorry but then I'll have no choice but to un-sub, 
throw this Mac in the junk yard, oiterally speaking, the junk yard, and 
probably forget about ever getting a Mac again.  This is just not worth all 
this hell for me.  I've tried so hardly, but I'm finally running out of 
patients.  Not at you all, but more at where to turn.  I even called my 
Prepaid egal attorney lawfirm and asked if they had any ideas and they 
basicly gave me the same thing, if you want one then pay for it and quit 
bothering us, we got more important civil things to deal with than 
listenning to you whine.  It may sound like i'm doing that but I swear on 
the Bible, which is not something I do normally:  I am so, not! doing that. 
It's just I'm totally lost.  I got an e-mail last night from someone on this 
list who's name I will not reveal under any circumstances, regardless, who 
told me that they'd give me Outspoken, but if I only would use it for a 
week, then no way, they only give it to people who in their exact words: 
Quote:  need it.  I cannot fu***ing tell you how much that hurt me.  I just 
went through experiencing a best friend who had a death in their family, so 
I've been devastated over that, then this mail comes in.  You think I wanted 
to see that first thing this morning?  I think not thank you very much?  I 
really did not appreciate that at all, and don't deny it, to that 
individual, you know who you are so dont' play that o it wasn't me game. 
Won't be tollerated.  I am sorry for working so hard, maybe I'm too obsessed 
but is there a problem with someone earnestly wishing to learn something new 
but being turned down from every resource to learn it?  I even tried the 
hacked intel x86 version which would a worked had it not been inaccessible 
to install.  Yeah, I hate illegal software sharing too, and noramlly 
wouldn't do it, but what do I do!  I'm desperet.  This is why I do it, cause 
no one ever cares to help.  I mean you all tried, but, looks like you all 
are getting no where either.  You know though what hurts more than anything? 
The fact that people make funna me for my desparity instead of praising me 
and giving me a good gowen for trying, etc.  Now that! hurts, right at the 
core of the heart!  Call me sinsitive but... you don't like it, tough!  It's 
my personality.  I am sorry to be so blunt I know it really is no way for 
getting help, and I apologise you all have to read this, but God d it? where 
else do I rant!  At least some a you on here care enough to try and help me, 
and for those of you:  thank you.  But Do you all really think it's worth 
continuing the voyage to look?  I mean this is becoming morbidly grewsomely 
rediculous!  It's just a f***ing mac.  It's not God, for Christ sake!

Ooooaf, I'm p owed!
Chris.