Re: ja translation new comer

[Yoshiki Hayashi]

I don't know the outcome of license team discussion but I'll
(Bcomment on the translation anyway.  IANAL so there maybe
(Bthose obscure words used by legal documents but I might
(Brephrase them because I can't recognize them.
(B
(BOn the encoding of the translation, starting from <example>,
(BUS-ASCII characters are changed to JIS X 0201 Roman
(Bcharacters.  Because of that, the document probably isn't a
(Bvalid XML document.  If your text editor does funny things
(Bwith those characters, I suggest you to run nkf -j.
(B
(BTetsuya Kitahata <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:
(B
(B>   <p>
(B>   $B2~JQ$NM-L5$rLd$o$:!"0J2<$NMW7o$,K~$?$5$l$l$P!"%=!<%9%3!<%I7A<0$"$k$$(B
(B>   $B$O%P%$%J%j7A<0$G$N:FHRI[5Z$SMxMQ$,5v2D$5$l$^$9!#(B
(B>   (J</p>(B
(B
(BI'd swap first two clauses to read like $B!V0J2<$NMW7o$,K~$?$5(B
$B$l$l$P!"2~JQ$NM-L5$rLd$o$:!W(B...
(B
(B>   (J<ol>(B
(B>   
(B> (J<li>$B%=!<%9%3!<%I$N:FHRI[$r9T$&>l9g!">e5-$NCx:n8"$K4X$9$kI=5-!?$3$3$G<($5$l$F$$$kMW7o$NI=5-!?0J2<[EMAIL
(B>  PROTECTED];v9`$NI=5-$r$=$N$^$^;D$7$F$*$/I,MW$,$"$j$^$9!#(J</li>(B
(B
(BI don't know why you use $B!V!?!W(B here.  Why not $B!V$H!W(B or
(Bsimply $B!V!"!W(B?  The same goes for other $B!V!?!W(B.
(B
(B>   
(B> (J<li>$B%P%$%J%j7A<0$G$N:FHRI[$r9T$&>l9g$O!">e5-$NCx:n8"$K4X$9$kI=5-!&$3$3$G<($5$l$F$$$kMW7o$NI=5-!&0J2<[EMAIL
(B>  PROTECTED];[EMAIL 
(B> PROTECTED]"HRI[J*$KIU?o$9$kJ8=q$*$h$S!J$"$k$$$O!KJL;qNA$KAH$_F~$l$kI,MW$,$"$j$^$9!#(J</li>(B
(B
(BThe usage of $B!V!&!W(B looks inconsistent from the above.
(BI may also change the translation of "and/or" part to
$B!VHRI[J*$KIU?o$9$kJ8=q$*$h$SJL;qNA$NN>J}$b$7$/$O$I$l$+$KAH$_(B
$BF~$l$kI,MW$,$"$j$^$9!#!W(B
(B
(B>   
(B> (J<li>$B:FHRI[MQ$N%(%s%I%f!<%6J8=q$,$b$7$"$l$P!"0J2<$Ne5-$NoI=<($5$l$k2U=j$K!"J,$+$k$h$&$KAH$_9~$s$GD:$$$F:9$7;Y$($"$j$^$;$s!#(J</p></li>(B
(B
(BThe original paragraph is talking only about the
(Backnowledgement in software itself, not other part of the
(Bproduct.
(B
(BIf I translate it, it would be like
$B!V%(%s%I%f!<%6J8=q$NBe$o$j$K!">e5-$NoI=<($5$l$k2U=j$,$"$l$P!"$=$3$KI=<($5(B
$B$;$k$3$H$b$G$-$^$9!#!W(B
(B
(B>   (J<li>$BK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$,[EMAIL PROTECTED]&$"[EMAIL 
(B> PROTECTED]"(J"Apache"(B $B5Z$S(B (J"Apache(B (JSoftware(B 
(B> (JFoundation"$B$NL>>N$r!";vA0$NJ8LL$G$N5v2D$NL5$$$^$^;HMQ$7$F$O$J$j$^$;$s!#([EMAIL
(B>  PROTECTED]"Mm$N>e!"[EMAIL PROTECTED]&$K$7$F2<$5$$!#(J</li>(B
(B
(BI don't think $B!VAH$_9~$^$l$?!W(B is a good translation of
(Bderived.  [EMAIL PROTECTED](B is more common, I think.
(B
(BThe latter sentence can give the feeling that written
(Bpermission is always granted.  I'd translate it as
(B[EMAIL PROTECTED](B [EMAIL PROTECTED] $B$KO"Mm$7$F$/(B
(B[EMAIL PROTECTED](B
(B
(B>   (J<li>$BK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$,[EMAIL PROTECTED]"(JApache(B 
(B> (JGroup$B$X$N;vA0$NJ8LL$G$N5v2D$NL5$$>l9g$O!"(JApache"$B$H$$$&L>>N$=$l<+BN!"$"$k$$$O(J"Apache"$B$H0lIt$KL>A0$,$D$+$J$$$h$&$K$7$F2<$5$$!#(J</li>(B
(B
(BThe same goes here for the translation of "derived".
(BI prefer $B!V(BApache Group $B$+$i$N!W(B to $B!V(BApache Group 
$B$X$N!W(B.
(B
(B>   
(B> (J<note>$BK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$O!"!I$"$j$N$^$^$K!IDs6!$5$l$F$$$^$9$N$G!">&MQL\E*!"FCDjL\E*$KAj1~$7$$$+$I$&$+$r4^$a!"L@<(E*$"$k$$$O0E<(E*$JJ]>[EMAIL
(B>  PROTECTED]"[EMAIL PROTECTED]"$j$^$;$s!K$r$$$?$7$^$;$s!#(B
(B
(BI'm not sure about the LIMITED TO translation here.  If I
(Bwere you, I'd say:
$B!VK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$O!"!V$=$N$^$^!W$N7A$GDs6!$5$l$F$$$^$9!#>&MQ(B
$BL\E*!"FCDjL\E*$X$NE,[EMAIL PROTECTED]:!"$$$+$J$kL@<(E*!"0EL[E*$JJ](B
$B>Z$b$$$?$7$^$;$s!#!W(B
(B
(B>  $B$$$+$J$k;vBV$,H/@8$7$h$&$H$b!"(JApache(B (JSoftware(B 
(B> (JFoundation(B $B$"$k$$$O$=$NEj9F%a%s%P$O!"D>@\E*!&[EMAIL 
(B> PROTECTED]&6vH/E*!&FC<lE*!&E57?E*!&I,A3E*$JB;32!?B;<:!JBeMQ$N>&IJ$d%5!<%S%9$NDs6!%3%9%H(J---$BMxMQ5!2q!&%G!<%?!&Mx1W$NB;<:!'%S%8%M%9$NCfCG$r4^$_$^$9!#C"$7!"$3$l$K8B$C$?;v$G$O$"$j$^$;[EMAIL
(B>  PROTECTED],Nc$(!"$I$N$h$&$J860x$GH/@8$7$h$&$,!"[EMAIL 
(B> PROTECTED],$"$m$&$,!"[EMAIL 
(B> PROTECTED]>e$K<($5$l$F$$$h$&$,!"6/@)K!5,>e$G$"$m$&$,!"$^$?$OITK!9T0Y!J8N0U$d$=$NB>$r4^$`!K$G$"$m$&$,!"$3$N%=%U%H%&%'%"$N;HMQ$+$iH/@8$9$k$$$+$J$k;[EMAIL
(B>  PROTECTED];$s!#$^$?!"$=$N$h$&$JB;[EMAIL 
(B> PROTECTED],;vA0$K2?$i$+$N7A$G;XE&$5$l$F$$$?$H$7$F$b!"F1MM$G$9!#(J</note>(B
(B
(BI don't think $B!VEj9F!W(B is the correct translation for
(B"contributor".  We normally use $B!V9W8%!W(B.  I believe
(Btranslation here would be improved for more readability but
(Bthere are lots of legal words so it might be better to ask
(Blawyers how to translate them.
(B
(B>   (J<p>$BK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$O!"(JApache(B (JSoftware(B (JFoundation(B 
(B> $B$KBP$9$k!"B?$/[EMAIL PROTECTED]([EMAIL PROTECTED])$C$F$$$^$9!#(JApache(B 
(B> (JSoftware(B (JFoundation(B 
(B> $B$K4X$7$F$b$C$H>pJs$,I,MW$G$"$k>l9g$O!"(J&lt;<a(B 
(B> (Jhref="http://www.apache.org/">http://www.apache.org/</a>&gt;$B$r$4Mw$K$J$C$F2<$5$$!#(J</p>(B
(B
(BThe same for "contribution" here.
(B
(B>   
(B> (J<p>$BK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$N0\?"$O!"%$%j%N%$Bg3X%"!<%P%J!&%7%c%s%Z%$%s9;$N%9!<%Q!<%3%s%T%e!<%?!<%"%W%j%1!<%7%g%s!&%J%7%g%J%k%;%s%?$K$h$C$F85!9=q$+$l$?%Q%V%j%C%/%I%a%$%s$N%=%U%H%&%'%"$r%Y!<%9$H$7$F9T$o$l$F$*$j$^$9!#(J</p>(B
(B
(BPortion is not porting.  Portion means a part of something
(Bso translation would be
(B
(B<p>$BK\%=%U%H%&%'%"$N0lIt$O!"%$%j%N%$Bg3X%"!<%P%J!&%7%c%s%Z%$(B
$B%s9;$N%9!<%Q!<%3%s%T%e!<%?%"%W%j%1!<%7%g%s!&%J%7%g%J%k%;%s%?(B
$B$$$h$C$F=q$+$l$?%Q%V%j%C%/%I%a%$%s$N%=%U%H%&%'%"$r%Y!<%9$K$7(B
$B$F$$$^$9!#(B</p>
(B
(BThese are the comments from brief review.  I found there's
(Ban unofficial Japanese translation of ASL 1.1 at 
(Bhttp://www.ingrid.org/jajakarta/LICENSE-ja
(BI recommend you to have a look at it.
(B
(B-- 
(BYoshiki Hayashi
(B
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