On 19 Dec 2001, at 21:59, Edith Pringle wrote: > From studies carried out in Australia it would seem that counselling of men following domestic violence yields poor results.
As a coordinator of a small, community based organisation (The Anti- violence Project in Northern NSW Australia) aimed to end domestic violence by working with men I find these assertions disturbing. Firstly, I think that there is a long way to go in discovering the most effective approaches and methods in working with men to end violence. Secondly, I believe that our program and many others are making a significant difference, not only for particular families but in helping change community attitudes and beliefs that encourage, condone and support the use of violence toward women. In our case we have about 100 men enter our programs per year, about 200 make enquiries. These are 'voluntary' programs and only about 30 of these men stay in the course for a length of time that we consider sufficient. Our last survey of partners nevertheless included all men that had attended our MEND group more than twice. Thirty two of the partners of these men were contactable and willing to give us feedback. These women had experienced a variety of abuse and violence. Half of these women stated that all forms of violence; physical, verbal, emotional, sexual had ceased. About a quarter said that it had reduced significantly and a quarter said that there had been no change. Because partner contact and ongoing support is an integral part our program I have heard countless stories of total turn-arounds in men's behaviour and attitudes. Of course there are also many stories of men who do everything they can to avoid taking responsibility. I agree with Edith, it is not a good idea to use programs as a diversion or to reduce sentences. Having said that I don't believe that our abusive prison system is ideal either. Our program began six years ago because a significant number of men were calling a local men's help line wanting support in dealing with their anger and stopping their violence. I believe that this desire to change on the part of men is mainly due to the enormous and laudable efforts of women (and some men) who named domestic violence and continue to challenge men's abusive behaviour. Refuges, decisive police and judicial responses and all that the DV sector have been campaigning for are essential. The women we work with commonly state, " I want our family to stay together, I just want the violence to stop". Our program offers a chance for her wish to be realised. In fact without this option she may stay with him, hoping for change without ever seeing her partner put to a test. Women who's partners continue to be violent despite having attended our program are more determined in their leaving of him. They know that they gave him every chance to change. Please do not read the above as a tolerance of DV, our women's support is not about 'coping' with violence. We have just observed that despite our efforts to support her to leave, she will stay for a variety of reasons. One of these is her desire to be 'fair' and give him every chance to change. An unexpected outcome of our program is finding that men will argue for change with their mates, brothers and work colleagues. Almost every man in our group has stories of challenging others. When men initially enter the program they are concerned about others knowing of their actions. Within two sessions this attitude seems to have turned on it's head. They report talking to all sorts of people about the changes they are making and are quite happy for others to be informed of their participation. There is always a tension in respectfully engaging with a man that has been abusive. It is not as simple as separating the problem behaviour from the person. There is much to discover about working with men to end violence. I am particularly concerned about the men who do not stay in the program long or who do not turn up for their Intake appointment. I believe that there must be ways we can improve so that these men can take up the invitation to end their abuse. Every program needs evaluating and ongoing support to increase the skills of the counsellors who engage with men. The structure of the programs also need continual assessment and improvement. Just stopping particular programs because they are not showing good results robs society and those that work with men of a chance to learn and improve. All the best with your work, Stuart Stuart Anderson Anti-violence Project [EMAIL PROTECTED] Stuart Anderson Anti-violence Project 02 6622 6116 ***End-violence is sponsored by UNIFEM and receives generous support from ICAP*** To post a message, send it to: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To subscribe or unsubscribe, send a message to: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>. In the 1st line of the message type: subscribe end-violence OR type: unsubscribe end-violence Archives of previous End-violence messages can be found at: http://www.edc.org/GLG/end-violence/hypermail/
