I have been "lurking" during this conversation -- and have appreciated much
of the points made.  Largely, however, It seems to me that the critical
conversation of what we do with men is so important -- something that I
have found lacking in much of the conversation about ending men's violence
at least in the States.

I do find it curious, however, that the focus of this conversation at this
point has been on questions of men who batter, and no commentary, thus far,
and the very related altho still distinct issue of working with men who
sexually offend.

It seems to me that we can learn much by looking at men who have developed
a profeminist attitude and lifestyle -- or examined our systemic approaches
to other forms of hate crimes -- gaybashings, crimes against people of
color, etc.   I find it curious, even as a social worker/therapist, that we
develop these different kinds of responses (focus on counselling) when the
persons most likely victimized are women, then we do when the persons most
likely victimized are men.

That being said, I do think that there is a place and a need for
counselling programs for men who are abusive -- but these must be not only
based on more careful screening, but also grounded in a profeminist
perspective that sees it's primary work (and thus primary accountability
and responsibility) in changing societal structures that allow men to see
abusing women as an option.  It is only by ending sexism that we will
eventually effectively "counsel" individual men from choosing to abuse women.

AND most of us who are men involved in this movement grew and learned and
were "counselled" (if you will -- by which I mean supported, challenged,
confronted, encouraged, etc.) into become increasingly profeminist and
moving our developing profeminist perspective into actions.  Dare I say
that similar experiences are found with "White" anti-racist activists and
heterosexual allies of the GLBT [***Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender,
Mod.***] movements.

One concern I have of this conversation has been the trend to separate
"those men" who abuse from the rest of men.  It seems to me that all men
are in need of "counselling" to address our sexist attitudes and abusive
(of power) tendencies.  This is not to seem "anti-male" (tho I have no
doubt that I will be read as such by some) but only to acknowledge that
being male in a patriarchal society (much like being white in a white
supremacist society) means that we have much to work on, endlessly, to
examine, uncover and even learn to recognize our sexist, privileged,
assumptions of entitlement and the accompanying abuse of unearned
power(over) that often goes with that.

Rus Ervin Funk,
Washington, DC USA



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