Very good, Anu-ji! LOL PET HUMOUR
Quick thinking dog A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dog thinks, "Oh Damn, I'm in deep shit now." ( He was an Irish Setter)..... Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Jesus, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard, "That was close. That dog nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.(Irish paranoia) The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks "What the hell am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that damn monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!" /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// The hound dog There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.'' ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Driving with Penguins A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies." See you all! Lil On Sep 11, 5:56 am, "anurag barthwal" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > * **HOLY HUMOUR* > > A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, > 'I know what the Bible means!' > His father smiled and replied, 'What do you mean, you 'know', > What the Bible means?' > The son replied, 'I do know!' > 'Okay,' said his father. 'What does the Bible mean?' > 'That's easy, Daddy...' the young boy replied excitedly,' It stands for > 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' > > ======= > > There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her > brother in another part of the country. > 'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal clerk. > 'Only the Ten Commandments. ' answered the lady. > > ======== > > 'Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. > There are those who wake up in the morning and say, 'Good morning, Lord,' > and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, > 'Good Lord, it's morning.' > > ======== > > A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he > was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. > Then, he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: 'I have circled > the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive > us our trespasses.' When he returned, he found a citation from a police > officer along with this note 'I've circled this block for 10 years. If I > don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.' > > ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "English Learner's Cafe" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/english_learners?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
