--- In [email protected], "Llundrub" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> 
> In other words the I am' ness (self) has to differentiate from the I
> as an organizing function, that is doing mistakes and learning from
> them. When this differentiation has not happened, the self (I am'
> ness) is vulnerable in the heavy swell of life and also the I as
> organizing function can have more difficulties in learning and making
> calm and honest observations.
> 
> Irmeli
> 
> ---But also one learns from their mistakes and tries next time to be
more of a master and less of a fool. I had a job where I was in charge
of a production crew of 6 people where the chef stressed me out every
second and where I worked from 5 AM until 11 PM every single day, 6
days straight a week. I also made employee meal three times a day and
was usually too busy to eat it more than once. The situation was such
that it was a brand new restaurant where everything changed
constantly. I became a total asshole and really bossy and demanding
with everyone. I saw what kind of person I was under pressure. I was
the worst of all possible people. I would like to think that I have
changed. But I haven't. All I can know is what I'm like and pray that
I not be so reprehensible again. Because I didn't like myself either.
 This was 6 years ago. At that time as well, I was a completely
straight person, no dope, no drinking, nothing. I was a prick. And a
failure at keeping cool. I made a vow to not be such an asshole ever
again. One that I have broken, but it was at least a goal. I would
like to think I'm a bit better now. If I didn't take it all so hard
myself I would still be just as bad today. 
> 

****
I can relate to your story. Before I had the realization  at 16, that
I don't need to be anything at all, life doesn't expect that from me,
life accepts me as a nothing, I was a mess. I had serious difficulties
in communicating, I was withdrawn, stuttering. Every time I tried to
improve myself, I failed and it seemed I got only worse. I felt to be
a failure and felt that in this way it didn't make sense to continue
living. Then when feeling myself to be completely in a dead end, the
realization happened.
It didn't change my shortcomings, but I was at peace with them.
Gradually improvements started to happen, but there has also been
setbacks and challenges later too. But never more have I felt myself
to be a failure because of them. This inner stability doesn't mean
that you don't feel disappointments. But the self doesn't identify
with the feeling and just observes and feels it. And that way it
becomes really possible to work with emotions.
I would like to write even more about those times, but just now I'm
leaving the computer for the weekend in the countryside.

Irmeli





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