Thanks, Jim! I appreciate your response, as always. Yes, those unconscious expectations are doubtless the ones that got me -- just utterly shocked by how utterly physically shocked I was. It is not like I am unfamiliar with Fairfield Life! :-)
--- In [email protected], doctordumbass@... <no_reply@...> wrote: > > Hi Rory! I am glad to hear all is OK with you. Yeah, expectations can be > tough to manage, especially when you are expecting friendliness, and get back > something else. I don't recall the exact ins and outs of the conversations > between you and Ravi, and Judy, so I'll just share my experience on > expectations. In my past career of managing and focusing teams on objectives, > I had to be very clear about my intentions before engaging others, to avoid > confusion, and a loss of momentum on the project. > > Like that, if I am clear on my intention, to spread love in the world, for > example, then I am also clear on what to do, should I encounter an obstacle. > I no longer assume anything beyond the moment itself. If I need more info, I > will ask for it. Other than that, it always seems to resolve into, "take it > easy, take it as it comes", without diminishing clarity, intention, or the > ability to modify my approach, instantly. No attachment. > > As for your strategy in dealing with Judy and Ravi (arm's length), whatever > works, though I find, personally, that my curiosity always gets the better of > me - lol. > > Thanks for sharing this with me, Rory! Hope you are chillin' today. > > --- In [email protected], "RoryGoff" <rorygoff@> wrote: > > > > OK, I am genuinely curious, Jim -- I have always enjoyed respectful and > > heartfelt conversations with you, and you seem to understand Judy and Ravi. > > I do get your saying Ravi "has a bug up his ass," but what boundary of > > Judy's did I cross, other than trying to have civil conversations with Turq > > and Ravi, to get anointed with "the most egregious ego I have ever seen," > > twice, followed by "Bullcrap" and "phony as a three-dollar bill"? In what > > way was this speaking my language? Again, on some levels this I find this > > very funny, but on others I do not. > > > > What I have learned from it is to keep them both at arm's length, because > > after having opened my heart to them as true friends, the intense physical > > shock felt like an actual heart attack. > > > > As some of the symptoms persisted over several days I finally went to the > > clinic and they sent me to the ER, but the EKG, blood tests and lung X-rays > > (don't ask me why they felt those were necessary) came back clean, much to > > my and my wife's relief. > > > > Go figure! > > > > *L*L*L* > > > > --- In [email protected], doctordumbass@ <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > Sometimes you must speak another person's language to communicate with > > > them. Maharishi said this, meet them at their level of consciousness, so > > > rather than going on and on about compassion and my fellow man, sometimes > > > a good go fuck yourself serves equally well. It is not said in judgment, > > > but rather in context. An attempt at behavioral modification, as would be > > > used on a very stubborn and angry adult child. It shows them immediately > > > that there is a boundary there. Not something one would expect to have to > > > do around adults, setting social boundaries, but some are childish in > > > their state of emotional development. Sorry if it looks ugly from the > > > outside, in, but not sorry enough to stop it, if necessary. > > > > > > --- In [email protected], Share Long <sharelong60@> wrote: > > > > > > > > Judy and Xeno, I'm learning, especially here on FFL, that it's best > > > > NEVER to blast someone unkindly. Whether it's *important to* reminds me > > > > of something posted a few weeks ago: that evil takes over when good > > > > people become prideful. Furthermore, I think it's possible to express > > > > one's opinion, set boundaries, etc. without being unkind. Because > > > > really, exactly what does unkindness accomplish? Does it produce > > > > kindness in the abusive person? If so, then all I can say is that I > > > > have seen no empirical evidence of that here on FFL! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > > > From: authfriend <authfriend@> > > > > To: [email protected] > > > > Sent: Sunday, August 18, 2013 9:46 PM > > > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Chopra nothing without Maharishi > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Â > > > > --- In [email protected], "Xenophaneros Anartaxius" > > > > <anartaxius@> wrote: > > > > > > > > snip > > > > > > > > That may well be true. I don't think one ought to blast > > > > people unkindly unless one feels it's important. It isn't > > > > something to be done casually or for fun. > > > > > > > > > Getting blasted by Barry, and getting blasted by you are, > > > > > for me, entirely different experiences. For me, that recent > > > > > post to Share was the only one, of the ones of Barry's I > > > > > have read recently that comes close to your intensity. > > > > > > > > You've missed quite a few posts of his, it seems. > > > > > > > > Did you see this one, for instance? > > > > > > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/349106 > > > > > > > > (Actually this is my response, but Barry's post is > > > > quoted in its entirety. Interestingly, not long > > > > afterward, he decided he was going to go back to > > > > not responding to his "enemies." Oh, BTW, below > > > > Barry's post are my responses to two of yours, > > > > which I'm not sure you saw either.) > > > > > > > > Here's another (also with my response at the top): > > > > > > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/349548 > > > > > > > > > It makes me wonder if somewhere in your life history your > > > > > method of responding to people developed in response to > > > > > some less than pleasant events, or it could a family > > > > > characteristic. > > > > > > > > Neither, sorry to disappoint you. Maybe I was just lucky, > > > > but until I started posting to electronic forums 25 or > > > > so years ago, I'd never encountered this kind of > > > > intellectual and factual dishonesty and gratuitous > > > > obnoxiousness. (You can call that a "less than pleasant > > > > event" if you like, but somehow I don't think it's what > > > > you had in mind.) > > > > > > > > > Some people seem inclined to confrontation and argument > > > > > more than others. So in reply to your last comment, aside > > > > > from the question I asked about percentages, I do think > > > > > you are confrontational and accusatory. I am stating this > > > > > as if it were a fact. But the other side of the coin is, > > > > > do you think yourself that you are this way or not? > > > > > > > > When I think it's appropriate, yes indeed. (The difference > > > > between you and me in that regard is that I'm honest > > > > about it.) > > > > > > > > > Do the people on the forum who are generally favourable to > > > > > you think you are confrontational and accusatory? There > > > > > would seem to be a range of opinion on this issue. > > > > > > > > I guess you've thought more about it than I have. It's not > > > > something I'm concerned about. You probably should ask > > > > the folks you have in mind. > > > > > > > > > I would assume that those who thought you were would tend > > > > > to be more favourable in Barry's direction, and those who > > > > > felt you were not would not be favourable to Barry, and > > > > > even if they thought you were confrontational and accusatory, > > > > > would feel it was justified as you championed ideas and an > > > > > outlook on life they were more comfortable with. > > > > > > > > I have no idea what your point is here. I think people react > > > > to Barry as individuals, not because of how I react to him. > > > > > > > > Maybe you're the exception, though. > > > > > > > > > >
