No, it's not too late, Judy; thank you; I much appreciate it. Yes, part of me 
did get a kick out it all, and it was blissful -- and then my physiology got a 
KICK out of it all on a whole new level! :-D  

You are quite right about my projecting an invulnerability; that is indeed a 
part of me, but (obviously) not the whole me. Some election results from 
outlying precincts come in a bit later, particularly where my body is 
concerned, and as I have found, they can be devastatingly uncompromising. I 
went to sleep that night with subtle pyrotechnics in the heart, and awoke at 5 
with the full-on physical symptoms. But I will try to be more attuned faster to 
the outlying results and reflect a more immediately nuanced response in the 
future.

I remember your supportive comments as well, of course. You are right, I have 
no impulse to go back and look, but if memory serves (which it may not), the 
"Bullcrap" seemed to be in response to my saying something like, what I say is 
not that important; what is important is the energetic connection, meaning the 
healing or assimilation that takes place in me (as a result of an interaction). 
Does that sound about right?

Because I did mean that in all sincerity. I do hold my primary reason for being 
here as a chance for me to undergo energetic healing and assimilation. But I 
will (if possible) do it more cautiously and with more sensitivity, I think.

As to whatever "state of consciousness" I might or might not be in, I have no 
idea about any of that; it's not currently of particular importance or interest 
to me. 

Thanks again.

*L*L*L*

R.

--- In [email protected], "authfriend" <authfriend@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "RoryGoff" <rorygoff@> wrote:
> >
> > Judy, I appreciate your overture. No, I was not reading any
> > posts for a few days there -- I was otherwise occupied, what
> > with the ER and so on, and trying to take it easy -- and
> > have not been following things religiously since, so I must
> > have missed your post. I did not mean to imply here that you
> > had always condemned me as a person, and in my post to you I
> > believe I said I appreciate much of what you do here, and
> > that includes your overall relationship with me, up until a
> > few days ago. That's why I had opened my heart to you in the
> > first place. I did appreciate your clarification that your
> > responses only applied to specific things I had just said.
> > Nonetheless, their sheer unexpected brutality hit me very
> > hard.
> 
> Um, yeah, except that you told me (1) your ego got a great
> kick out of my kicking its ass. You also (2) thanked me and
> said "It's (eventually) always a pleasure to see ourselves
> as others see us :-)", *and* (3) that I might be right about
> your egotism and that "the thought [filled you] with bliss"
> (three separate posts).
> 
> None of those remarks seems consistent with "sheer
> unexpected brutality" hitting you "very hard." Maybe if
> you'd showed me how you were *really* feeling at the
> time of that first exchange, I'd have been more gentle
> in following up. But you know, Rory, when you present
> yourself as invulnerable, it sort of acts as
> encouragement for people to say exactly what they think
> without having to worry about your feelings.
> 
> Anyway, now we know that whatever state of consciousness
> you're in, it doesn't protect you from being terribly
> wounded by negative opinions of you.
> 
> > And I still don't understand what it was I said that
> > caused you to twice call me the most egregious ego you
> > had ever encountered
> 
> You could have asked, Rory. Instead, you seemed to
> welcome my comments. In any case, I never called *you*
> the most egregious ego, I called remarks you made "the
> most egregious *display of ego*" I had ever encountered.
> That you occasionally display an ego doesn't mean
> that's all you are.
> 
> > -- almost a redundancy there, in a way, as every ego is
> > egregious, "standing out from the crowd" -- followed in
> > quick succession by "Bullcrap" and "phony as a three-dollar
> > bill".
>  
> Actually "Bullcrap" was first, referring to--well, you can
> look the posts up if you're interested. I'm sure you won't,
> but you really should go back and look at all those posts
> before your misinterpretations get engraved in stone in your
> memory (and before you forget about my *supportive* comments).
> But maybe it's too late anyway.
> 
> 
> 
> > 
> > --- In [email protected], "authfriend" <authfriend@> wrote:
> > >
> > > DrD/Jim--
> > > 
> > > Rory has apparently chosen not to read my posts, so if I
> > > may, I'd like to ask you to pass this on to him:
> > > 
> > > He has twice seriously misrepresented what I said to him.
> > > I corrected him the first time, and he appeared to
> > > understand and thanked me for the "clarification."
> > > 
> > > Then he misrepresented me again, the same way. I had to
> > > correct him again, but he didn't respond to that post, so
> > > I assume he didn't read it.
> > > 
> > > Now, in his post to you, he's done it *again*, worse than
> > > before. He seems determined to take my comments about two
> > > very specific things he said as a total condemnation of
> > > him as a person, and that's just so wrong. *That* crosses
> > > a major boundary with me.
> > > 
> > > Has nothing to do with Rory's "trying to have civil
> > > conversations with Turq and Ravi." That's insulting in and
> > > of itself, especially given that at one point I actually
> > > *defended* him from a nasty remark of Barry's. (I also
> > > supported him on more than one other occasion, but it
> > > seems he's wiped those from his mind as well.)
> > > 
> > > This post to you, DrD, will be the only overture I'll make
> > > toward Rory. If he wants to straighten things out between
> > > us, it's up to him now. He's welcome to contact me via email
> > > if he would feel more comfortable talking privately.
> > > 
> > > Thanks for your help.
> > > 
> > > 
> > > 
> > > 
> > > 
> > > --- In [email protected], "RoryGoff" <rorygoff@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > OK, I am genuinely curious, Jim -- I have always enjoyed respectful and 
> > > > heartfelt conversations with you, and you seem to understand Judy and 
> > > > Ravi.  I do get your saying Ravi "has a bug up his ass," but what 
> > > > boundary of Judy's did I cross, other than trying to have civil 
> > > > conversations with Turq and Ravi, to get anointed with "the most 
> > > > egregious ego I have ever seen," twice, followed by "Bullcrap" and 
> > > > "phony as a three-dollar bill"? In what way was this speaking my 
> > > > language? Again, on some levels this I find this very funny, but on 
> > > > others I do not.
> > > > 
> > > > What I have learned from it is to keep them both at arm's length, 
> > > > because after having opened my heart to them as true friends, the 
> > > > intense physical shock felt like an actual heart attack. 
> > > > 
> > > > As some of the symptoms persisted over several days I finally went to 
> > > > the clinic and they sent me to the ER, but the EKG, blood tests and 
> > > > lung X-rays (don't ask me why they felt those were necessary) came back 
> > > > clean, much to my and my wife's relief. 
> > > > 
> > > > Go figure!
> > > > 
> > > > *L*L*L*
>


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