---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <anartaxius@...> wrote :

 You wish to offload the feelings you have in response to what someone says to 
you, about you, about others, to that someone for blame or revenge? In my 
experience, whether or not a person is nice or abusive, that person always 
distorts another person's values and ideas because no two minds are exactly 
alike. There can be superficial agreement, but if you dig deep enough, 
understandings, feelings etc., do not line up between two people. You are 
letting Barry get to you, he tried it with me too, and I took a step back and 
tried to analyse my response.  

 As Barry does not seem to go about shooting others with firearms or stabbing 
them with knives, or attempting to ruin others nefariously by financial 
manipulation it seems possible to come to some accommodation. I found it was 
possible. I was never able to come to an accommodation with Judy Stein for 
example, although when I first came on here, she was friendly and Barry was 

 There are certain affinities but they may be entirely superficial. He likes 
certain kinds of music. So do I, but we have different tastes. I pursued 
spirituality from basically an atheist point of view because I knew it was 
possible, and Barry seems to be in a non-religious space as well. Barry appears 
to like Curtis, and so do I. This thread, started by Barry, is wonderful for 
the kind of discussion that it can dredge up because it relates to ultimate 
questions about what we can know and tends to illuminate responses that give us 
an inkling of how other view the world. There is a terrible lack of humour in 
the religious world. 

 The main affinity here is that all ideas are open to discussion here, and no 
ideas are sacrosanct. Barry would not give me a free ride were he to disagree 
with me about something. I have never met Barry (and logically therefore he has 
never met me); we live thousands of miles apart. I have seen a single rather 
grungy photo of him, apparently shot in Paris, one version in colour and the 
other in black and white on his linkedin page (you really should get a better 
shot Barry if you read this).

 If you really want to see repetitive button pushing behaviour and response you 
should watch the Jerry Springer show on TV. Marvellous primate studies of human 
mating behaviour. You cannot get much lower than this. At least here people 
think from time to time.

 Now if you think Barry is abusive, bitter, negative, and we suppose this were 
true, how much space would you allow him to vent his frustrations and give him 
the opportunity to grow?

 My first spiritual experiences came at the hands of one John Rosenberg (AKA 
Werner Erhard). I had no inkling that I was going to have a spiritual 
experience. He began his course by calling everyone in the room a bunch of god 
damn ass holes. The purpose was to elicit conditioned responses, and some took 
the bait. But the idea behind the method was to eventually within the course 
structure to get people to realise in their own experience how these 
conditioned responses situate themselves within and how they arise, and how to 
begin to deal with them. So what Barry does does not bother me, I have been 
dealing with my own conditioned responses going on half a century so I just do 
not care that you are seemingly upset. Being enlightened, you should know 
enough by now to deal with that yourself.

 From my side, if I want an abusive relationship with either a spouse or a 
spiritual teacher I'd go and find one on my own. I don't need bawee to provide 
this button pushing service for me. You're giving this asshat a free ride to 
spew his anger and frustration and just plain rotten manners all over without 
holding him responsible like any normal/decent human being. Cut with the 
dissertations, Xeno, sometimes you just have to realize some very simple facts. 
You're quite the apologist for him. It makes me think you played this enabling 
role in your family at some point. Did you have an alcoholic parent because 
that is a classic situation where this develops.




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