--- In [email protected], "sparaig" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Usually women confide in each other, not with men, > when they are molested or have affairs.
I would say that it depends upon the woman and on the man in question. I have been the confidant for quite a few women who have been in the position of sleeping with or being propositioned by their spiritual teacher. If you haven't, you might listen up and learn a little something. It's not easy. It's often mind-shattering and life-shattering. It's an experience that is all too often Shakespearean in its ability to take the student involved to extremes of emotional and spiritual crisis. It's *not* Just Another Male-Female Relationship. In terms of the imbalance of power in the equation, it's more like the President of a corporation hitting on his secretary than it is Dick And Jane Find Love In The Ashram. In terms of violation of trust issues, it's more like discovering that your father wants to get into your pants than it is discovering that the pizza guy gives you free Coke because *he* wants to get into your pants. It's *heavy*. I've talked to women who were married when their teacher hit on them. And who subsequently were divorced and spent years in therapy. I've talked to women who cheated on their committed-relation- ship boyfriends with their spiritual teacher, and had to live with the guilt of lying to the boyfriend, because the teacher told them to. It's not a pretty scene. And the *worst* thing I can report from my conversations with such women is that many of them have turned their back on spiritual practice forever as a result of the power differential being abused and their trust being violated by a supposed spiritual teacher. If no woman has ever talked to you about this stuff, don't be so quick to claim it's because they only talk about it to other women. They talk to anyone whom they think will really listen.
