And things like "Well, ya gotta just move on" and so on. Zowie.
Someone asked me what seemed appropriate to me - it's something like "I'm so sorry for your loss" or "I'm so sad xxx is gone" and so on.
Gloria
At 02:51 PM 4/30/2005, you wrote:
MC,
I'd be interested to see that list, (even though it will probably churn my stomach). I've never been trained in grief counseling, and even though it's difficult, I do my best to reach out to those in sadness or trouble. I'm sure just having a sympathetic, nonjudgmental ear, helps, but, I'd like to make sure I'm not inadvertently saying something that would do more harm than good.
I love the "Goddess forbid", very telling :). Nina
TenHouseCats wrote:
it's one of the reasons we have daily, 365.25 days a year pet-loss support chats at pethobbyist.... don't get me started on our culture that so fears death that it chooses to belittle it than deal with it....
someplace i have a list of the least-helpful things people say to others when they lose a loved one (of any species....)--and research shows that something ridiculous like 80% of what people say to someone in mourning IS more hurtful than helpful!
it's a huge issue in the disability community, too--duh, gee, you mean that someone who suddenly can't support themselves and their families, whose body no longer does what they've always counted on its doing might be upset? or depressed? or, goddess forbid, ANGRY????
-- MaryChristine
AIM / YAHOO: TenHouseCats MSN: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> ICQ: 289856892
