I think I've changed my mind. Maybe I don't want to see that list after
all. I forget how insensitive some well meaning people can be!
Nina
Gloria B. Lane wrote:
WOW - right. When my "boyfriend" died in 1994, after being ill with
cancer for a year and a half, a couple of people suggested that I was
probably glad he was gone. Probably thinking I was tired of dealing
with the illness. But it was so awful to hear someone say that - ya
know - "you must be glad that he's gone" - as it wasn't my experience
at all. Like yuk.
And things like "Well, ya gotta just move on" and so on. Zowie.
Someone asked me what seemed appropriate to me - it's something like
"I'm so sorry for your loss" or "I'm so sad xxx is gone" and so on.
Gloria
At 02:51 PM 4/30/2005, you wrote:
MC,
I'd be interested to see that list, (even though it will probably
churn my stomach). I've never been trained in grief counseling, and
even though it's difficult, I do my best to reach out to those in
sadness or trouble. I'm sure just having a sympathetic,
nonjudgmental ear, helps, but, I'd like to make sure I'm not
inadvertently saying something that would do more harm than good.
I love the "Goddess forbid", very telling :).
Nina
