% While there were too many distractions for me to write, I did
have enough to C+C. I Heard about this. Time to look it over.
People Lie
Naruto paused on the way to his desk, visibly struggling for a moment
before offering up a weak smile and an insincere 'sorry'.
He looked like hell. Leaves in his hair, dark circles under his
eyes, dirt on his clothes, and dried blood here and there. He sat in
his seat with none of his usual energy and propped his head up in his
hands.
% Hmm. Nice way to clue the reader in to what's wrong and doing it quickly.
It was far from the first time he'd ever been late to class. There
had been days where he'd never shown up at all. But it was the first
time he'd shown up to class looking like someone had systematically
beaten the crap out of him. Usually he was, if not stylish, at least
clean and well groomed. No one could ever really be considered
stylish wearing outlandish orange pants and a white t-shirt, often
with an orange jacket thrown over it.
% As opposed to fashion plates like Chouji?
o/~
Days passed, as they usually do. Today was a Tuesday, which meant a
lecture day. Two hours of lectures in the morning, two hours of ninja
equipment,
% what about it? Reviewing it? Making it? Seems a bit vague
% Nice to see Hinata is picking up on things.
"Adding a fire element to a seal," he replied, yawning behind a hand.
Abruptly he sat bolt upright and looked around, surprise on his face.
% Hmm. The fox demon adding something to try and keep his host alive?
"I'm shocked! Simply shocked that you don't trust me, Iruka-sensei!
I would never dream of cheating!" Naruto proclaimed, all wounded
dignity.
"I'm serious, Naruto, I will break your arms in three places and
cover you in itching powder."
% Heh. That would be evil.
"I'll be good," he replied meekly. "I really only thought that Kiba
needed to be held back a year, anyway."
% Heh.
"How do you know what I'm capable of?"
Iruka nodded. "That's it, I don't. But I have a feeling that you
do. And I think you're lying to me."
% Hmm. Tanking deliberatly, or an outside force?
Abruptly, Naruto's face blossomed into a grin. "Iruka-sensei, why
would I lie to you?"
% Iruka: Well, it is in the title of the fic.
Though he was crying, when asked what had happened, his voice didn't
waver. He gave clear, concise details. Then the doctors gave him
something that put him into a nightmare filled sleep that lasted two
days. He woke up screaming.
% Hmmm.
Naruto could still remember exactly what the old man had said.
"Ibiki, make sure he regrets it."
% And I'm sure he still does to this day.
Naruto stopped for a second, looked at him, looked away. "People
lie," he said after a moment.
% And hence we have a title.
"How important friends are."
Naruto looked like he'd been slapped.
% Very nice touch.
But friends? Among people his own age? They were immature. They
were irrational, for crying out loud. They did things that made no
damned sense whatsoever. Most of the girls in class fawned over that
Uchiha, when he clearly did not like them, and made complete fools of
themselves. Most of the boys either spent their time in pointless
pissing contests, or absorbed in weird little obsessions of their own.
% Now that's not... well, yeah, they are a pretty weird bunch. And
Naruto fits right in.
They made lousy friends. He'd overheard girls spreading lies and
rumors about their supposed 'friends' behind their backs. The boys
would follow some obscure schedule of their own, best friends one day,
bitter enemies the next.
Who in the hell would want people like that at his back?
% They are... learning. Naruto had a hard lesson dealt to him early.
They'll catch up.
He needed to gather intel.
% This could be something.
o/~
Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to fend off the
onrushing headache as he stared at the embarrassed looking
% embarrassed-looking (first grammar error I've seen. Nice job)
"The assignment was to practice following a ninja throughout their
daily routine," Iruka continued smoothly, not giving either a chance
to interrupt. "He was supposed to pick a fresh genin, someone with a
non combat
% non-combat
She glared at him. "Well you
% Well, you
He brought it up to Mizuki, his fellow teacher for the group. At
first Mizuki didn't want to believe him, but a quiet word with Naruto
about some one on one
% one-on-one
Iruka's eyebrows raised. "ANBU? But why?"
% Not that that would make me feel good, considering some of the actions
of the ANBU. :)
Girls lied more about their intentions than he did.
% At times. At times.
It was sort of humbling.
% Indeed.
The first time Naruto met Anko
% Ooo boy. In her own way, she might screw him up even more than he
already is. Without trying. :)
"Hey, Ibiki, where you taking the shrimp?" a voice called.
Naruto looked up to see a huge, tall woman with a really fat chest
% Hmmm. Didn't think she was that buxom.
A mad grin spread across her face, one that had nothing to do with
the tasty tasty dango rolling around on her tongue. She swallowed.
"Aww, has little Naruto-kun finally discovered girls?" she said in a
cutesy voice. She faked shock. "Don't tell me… you want to have,"
she gasped theatrically, "sex!? And you need me to tell you how to do
it?! Aww, Naruto-kun, I'm honored. Of course big sister Anko will
tell you ALL you need to know."
% And a lot he doesn't.
"From what I've seen, plain looking girls are the most inconspicuous
type of person. Guys rarely compete with girls in strength, and the
more attractive women don't consider them a threat, either," Naruto
explained.
% Pretty spot on
"You." Easy answer. Anko delighted in her effect on others. "But
scaring the hell out of people will attract the wrong kind of
attention."
% hehehehe.
Anko winced. "Okay, you need to practice that. I see why you picked
someone you'd seen before." She tapped her lip thoughtfully. "In
fact, I think I have something better." She headed for her bedroom,
and Naruto could hear rustling around in there. "I've been forbidden
on pain of boring ass missions from teaching you my jutsu, but this
one ain't mine."
% I shudder to think who's it is.
Be a friend to someone. Not to worry about having a friend in
return, but be a friend to someone. If nothing else, fake it really
well.
He hadn't been enthusiastic at first, but Iruka had added something
to that.
"I talked it over with Ibiki-san. He feels that this is a good way
for you to understand this lesson we've been trying to teach you."
% Yeah, that might help.
Note to self: the weakness of long term plans is that situations change.
% Heh. Also too true.
Naruto blinked. "Really? What was it?" Konoha's forests were full
of plants with interesting applications. He'd read a couple books on
the subject.
% Ah, the blind leading the blind.
"A-also, you can add it to things you want to smell like chocolate,
like p-poisons, if you want." Oh, great, now he'd think she was some
scary poisoner girl. No one liked people who used poisons.
% She has no idea what she is about to do. And for that reason it might
turn out for the best.
Naruto smiled at her. He smiled at her!
"Hey, thanks, Hyuga-san. I'm going to get something to eat now.
% Naruto: You know, since talking about poison always makes me hungry.
Warily, Naruto watched the dark haired
% dark-haired
\
But then she'd nearly invariably lose on points.
Weird. It was almost as if…
Naruto's eyebrow raised.
She wasn't really trying.
Fascinating.
What reason could she have for hiding her abilities? He knew why he
did it. But something about the brief conversation he'd had with him
didn't seem right.
So, time for more research.
% This promises to be very interesting.
"Lead the way, oh beautiful Hyuga princess," he intoned, bowing low.
*thump*
"Hinata? What the hell?"
% Heh. Hinata doesn't fit anywhere in his paradigm. Boy is he going to
be in for an eye opening revelation.
God she was annoying.
% well, he regards most people as annoying, since he doesn't really
understand them
"That's not an answer," he pointed out reasonably.
"I'm just not like you, okay?" she snapped. "I w-want to be like you,
I want to TRY like you, but I can't!"
Naruto blinked, stunned, then, before he could help himself, laughed.
% OOps, Wrong answer
Fortunately, while Hinata had lightening quick punches, she was only
an average runner, and Naruto managed to catch up to her and tackle
her from behind. They fell into a skidding roll, and he suddenly
found himself with a wildcat in his arms. She flailed about
frantically, and her blows, while glancing hurt
% glancing, hurt
"Hinata?" he asked, poking her cheek with one finger. "Hinata?"
Pause. "SON OF A BITCH!"
% She just might be the right remedy for him, all right.
"We've really got to work on your following instructions. HIT ME."
Slowly, Hinata raised her fist again, took a deep breath, and swung
like a cobra striking out at a mongoose.
Suddenly the world was all in gray, and he was looking at it
sideways, the grass covering about half his vision, and Hinata moving
frantically, calling out to him in some sort of weird, frantic,
totally silent way.
"Hey," he protested weakly. "You hit me in the ear…"
% Heh. Ask and ye shall receive...
"I want you to lose a fight."
% Actually, she's been doing that for a while.
o/~
There were collective gasps from all around her, students who
couldn't believe that Hinata, the shyest girl in class, had just said
that to INO, the loudest.
% Heh. That also means she thinks Hino is weak,
Taking a deep breath, Hinata steeled her nerves and mustered disdain
into her voice. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were deaf and stupid. I
said, 'Will the blonde screeching harpy Uchiha fangirl ever sit down
and shut up?' Which wasn't what she'd really said, having actually
referred to 'all the stupid Uchiha fangirls'. But since Ino made
herself a target, she could paraphrase.
% Heh. Smart
Wow. It was really kind of neat watching the flicker of changing
expressions on Ino's face as she went from pissed to completely
irrational in the span of about five seconds.
% Well, Ino is kind of... unique.
"You…! You…! YOU BITCH!" Ino screeched, her voice hitting those
high registers she was infamous for when she got mad.
Hinata winced theatrically and dug a finger into her ear. "Alright,
alright, I apologize. You can keep looking like an idiot as you throw
yourself at Sasuke all you want. Just shut up, please, no one wants
to hear it." Several people around her, all male, chuckled
appreciatively. Two were looking at her with raised eyebrows, and one
was Shikamaru. He looked, it was hard to say, smarter than usual.
% That's because he's smarter than Naruto realizes. He's just too lazy
to show it. :)
Hinata crouched, breathing fast and shallow as she dropped one hand
to feel of her leg.
% 'word missing there
She was going to take the look on her little sister's face, the
little sister she adored, the look that told her how disappointed she
was in her big sister.
% Hmm. Haven't gotten that far in the series, I think.
Whatever that meant. Sometimes Naruto said things so profound they
mystified her.
% And you've got me intruigged as to where he's going with this.
% And you'd think the adults would be keeping a closer eye than this.
"No!" Naruto all but shouted. "I just wanted to be clear on the
situation. I can do this." His eyes positively blazed. "I will do
this. Now tell me about the scroll. Where is it and what does it
look like."
% Hmm. Now how will this turn out differently from the first episode.
\
Concealing herself to the best of her ability a good ways away from
the clearing, she gave the area one last scan with her byakugan, then
stayed still to conserve chakra. It was going to be a long wait.
% Hmm. Now will it end well, or poorly?
o/~
The blade of the second wakizashi wasn't poisoned, but it was over a
foot of razor sharp steel, and it went in, and out, of Mizuki's calf
like it was butter. An involuntary, full body twitch twisted the
blade, and Mizuki's hasty hop away caused it to tear through the
muscle and fly out of Naruto's hands at the same time.
% Well, he had that coming.
"Damn, Iruka, sacrificing yourself for that thing?" Mizuki said,
hobbling forward with his last shuriken. "But you always did have a
soft spot for the little demon. Ah, well. At least you can die
together." He raised his weapon, and there was a sound, like a quiet
eruption somewhere muffled. An explosion in flesh. And another,
right on top of the first. And another, a rapid sequence of sound and
chakra, like someone was beating a drum at a furious pace. Mizuki
stiffened, and blood fountained from his mouth.
He keeled over without a sound.
Behind him, Hinata stood, one foot forward, one hand still extended
in the final strike of her family's juken style, not even breathing
heavily.
% And thus Naruto has discovered the value of freinds.
Iruka gaped, then looked at Naruto, who was still grimacing in pain
and twitching.
"I… I thought you were like Mizuki-sensei," Naruto gasped. "I
thought you had lied to me, too."
"No, Naruto. Some people you can trust." He glanced up at Hinata,
who was approaching warily, her eyes hard. "But I guess you've
finally learned that lesson, as well."
% Yep.
Author's note: This is the beginning of a longer work, but this
seemed like a good place to end a single named chapter. Where will it
go? Well, I have some ideas. I'll tell you where it won't go,
however. This isn't going to be just another retelling of the initial
Naruto storyline with a slightly changed overpowered Naruto. It's
been done. A lot. This version of Naruto isn't normal. He's got a
lot of wrong ideas, even now. And because he's so private, the people
he respects, people he actually would listen to, don't know how wrong
the assumptions he's made are. Hinata isn't his friend. She's a
follower, which is why I used her instead of Sakura. Sakura would
make a follower, easily, but only for Sasuke, without changes I didn't
want to make. Plus, we've seen the standard storyline too many times.
I'm going to change it up a bit.
I hope you like it! Or at least, give it a chance.
% Indeed I did. Now, I don't read much Naruto due to time problems, but
I've always had a soft spot for Naruto Hinata stories, so I do hope for
a happy enidng. But with you, who knows. :)
Exellent work. Glad I finally had a chance to review it. Definitely
worth the time.
DB Sommer
-Nugar
nugarwrites.livejournal.com
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://www.fanfiction.net/~nugar
http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/src.php/u/131278
---
.-------Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List--------.
| Administrators - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Unsubscribing - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`------------ FAQ URL coming soon.... -------------'
---
.-------Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List--------.
| Administrators - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Unsubscribing - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`------------ FAQ URL coming soon.... -------------'
