> Oh, that incident.  Naruto got in a fight - with who, and over what, is 
> unimportant.  At the start of the story, Naruto is bored and depressed,
> and getting worse - getting into fights, or otherwise getting injured, is 
> part of it.

That may be (I don't actually think it fits the context), but if it is so then 
the author ought to do something with it rather than just leaving us to assume 
it. As I mentioned, it's clear that the episode seriously upset Naruto, which 
would not be consistent with his character's tendency to deceive. Indeed, 
getting beaten up in a fight should make Naruto happy, as it protects his 
secret, rather than discombobulate him to the degree that he almost blows his 
cover completely. At any rate, it's confusing and adds practically nothing; 
Iruka should get tipped off in some other way.

As for the thing with Mizuki (Matthew), my problem with it isn't that Naruto 
should be utterly paranoid of all adults in this characterization. There are 
some he clearly trusts. However, the "mission" doesn't seem like a very 
plausible test in the first place -- the scroll incident only worked for me in 
the canon source because the stakes for Naruto were so high and in that 
characterization he was a great deal more trusting, especially since Mizuki had 
spoken up on his behalf during the exam. There's none of that context here, and 
besides the stakes are much lower for Naruto, who in this story is pretty 
intelligent and calculating. Plus, he's been told that this is a scroll of 
high-level jutsu. He had to go to a lot of trouble to get just one from Anko; 
now he's getting a scroll full from *Mizuki*, whom he barely knows? Naruto 
should be suspicious just from the nature of the mission.

And then we come to the part where a man who is essentially a stranger has 
asked Naruto to do something secret and then meet him *alone in the woods*. The 
parallels to his earlier rape are sufficient that Naruto should be instantly on 
guard, if not alarmed.

Even if Naruto trusts some adults, he will not trust anyone without a 
relationship, which Mizuki seemingly lacks. The author could fix this either by 
having Mizuki groom Naruto in one or two scenes, or he could put someone else 
into Mizuki's role.

PR




      
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