>I left my suggestions here: > Here are my suggestions: Collegues, if you have someone who is a) native English speaker, b) has skills in writing good copy – could you please ask him/her to review the source?
Both @Jan and @Alexander texts have good subtle moments – but they both are not enough good for landing, sorry. As well as my texts. May be @Johs could help? His biz requires strong copy skills, so may be he has someone in-staff? > "Help us" sounds like as we're in catastrophic position (: I decided 2 cries are acceptable, 3 is too much ) ermouth
