" Affection, in all forms, is an extremely valuable and important part of the relationship to me ... "
And Grace, both while giving to and receiving from ... But, valuable and important as they are, these are still the atmospherics. The crucial part is the quality of ' being ' individuals sense within themselves, and the opportunity they have to ' be ' themselves, to grow and evolve and continue to transform the ' I - Space ' within to greater sense of strength, happiness, freedom and self - discovery. We are all striving for that rich and pregnant ground of ' I - space ' in which our finitude dissolves. The others are important to us, in this context, for the atmospherics they cause or contribute to. It can aid or mar the ' awakening.' We each love the other, for the love of our Self ! ( I waited long before punching the ' Send ' button, wondering if what I'm posting makes any sense. Even, if it is appropriate ? ) On May 4, 7:57 am, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > I think (a very necessary disclaimer in topics such as these) that the secret > may be to only require commitment from your partner, to continue to freely be > who you are, and expect the same from them, and to strive for the happy > balance of compromise and acceptance in the places where friction inevitably > occurs. Sometimes we align ourselves with partners who have drastically > different life goals, and that's simply not possible. Other times our > partners, or we ourselves, are in a self destructive place which is simply > not conducive to a healthy relationship. If, however, we are both aligned > similarly, and both committed to that goal, then a zen state of love, where > it is not questioned, but simply is, seems to me to be the path to a long > term bliss. > > If everyday, despite the day I've had, I make the effort to express some > portion of Eros energy to my partner, even if in no other form than text > message, I've "been", in the zen sense, affirmed the love, made it be by > being it. When that is affirmed in reply, that circle is completed. The > actual physical expenditure of the ritual is miniscule, yet the effect is > powerful. > > Affection, in all forms, is an extremely valuable and important part of the > relationship to me, which Is just one of the many ides of Love I inherit from > my Father. He's still married to my Mom, and from all appearances, still in > love with her in an Eros kind of way. :-D It's a strong archetype to have in > your head of what a long term love can be. I can't imagine the idea of my > Father being unfaithful to my Mom. It's inconceivable to me. > > It strikes me Neil that one of the problems with Love is that most of the > wisdom about it doesn't come until our later years, and many of us either > don't have a proper Sage around, or are a bit too damn fool hardy in our > youths to listen if we do. > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:archytas <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds Eye\"" > <[email protected]>Date:Sun, 3 May 2009 18:30:21 -0700 > (PDT)Local:Mon, May 4 2009 6:30 amSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What is the nature > of Love? > > There is some thinking that love is over-stated and leads to over- > expectation, perhaps rather strangely making loving relationship more > difficult than it needs to be. Raising any of us fallible humans to a > golden pedestal is to put whoever it is before a fall. One can > certainly be loving and it appears this can be reciprocal, though I'd > expect this to be less than perfect or bound in mutual illusions. > Freedom from exploitation seems key to me, along with some form of > understanding on equality. I can say that I wish I had been better > able to enjoy sex earlier in my life through some decent education > about it. > > On 4 May, 01:07, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > Exactly, trust is essential to the bond, it is the adhesive quality > > that transforms two into one. The bond can be broken and repaired but > > it forever has the crack that remains a visible detraction and > > possibly a perpetual doubt which can fester at anytime under testing > > situations, such as out of town overnight business meetings or the > > introduction of a past friend, literally anything can set off the > > process of relationship erosion. I can only wish that everyone would > > find that special soul mate and live happily ever after. > > > On May 3, 3:54 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > I agree completely about fidelity. For some, a dip in another pool > > > provides added excitement...but for me, it cracks the foundation of the > > > love I have, irreparably, no matter which person is to blame. Trust is > > > key for me, and without faithfulness, there is no trust. > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:Slip Disc <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds Eye\"" > > > <[email protected]>Date:Sun, 3 May 2009 12:48:43 -0700 > > > (PDT)Local:Sun, May 3 2009 2:48 pmSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What is the > > > nature of Love? > > > > It must be Chris being that you posted twice on it, lol, thanks. > > > > I might add that much of my feelings at this point are based on the > > > fact that she is without exception my best friend in the world. The > > > monogamy issue for me is moot as I would hurt as much as she would, > > > and mutually so. I guess in that sense the love factor reveals itself > > > to be the core driven emotion that keeps us together. When that > > > emotion is present, the thought of infidelity never enters the mind. > > > Love, being faithful, gives relationships integrity and provides a > > > sound platform on which to continue building. Newly founded > > > relationships or marriages are like a complete white circle that > > > accumulates black spots for each little transgression, larger spots > > > for more serious infractions. As time goes by the circle may seem > > > more black than white and the imbalance weighs heavier on the side of > > > failure due to the loss of integrity, eventually with nothing left the > > > relationship collapses. We can fantasize all we want about how much > > > greener the grass is on the other side but truth is it takes mutual > > > effort no matter where the grass is. I would venture to guess that > > > there is that one perfect soul mate relationship out there waiting for > > > us to find it, that being the hardest part of it all. > > > > On Apr 29, 11:45 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I think this is my favorite post from you ever, Slip. > > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:Slip Disc <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds Eye\"" > > > > <[email protected]>Date:Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:24:10 -0700 > > > > (PDT)Local:Wed, Apr 29 2009 11:24 pmSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What is > > > > the nature of Love? > > > > > I don't know that I could identify with true love anymore, not in the > > > > way I did 40 years ago when the heart was expendable for the sake of > > > > the other, when self didn't matter and all the other feelings we have > > > > when "Love" takes over. Sometimes I wish I could have been more the > > > > way I am today back then as it would have saved many of my hearts and > > > > dollars. Now I could care less for it, though I do have some spurts > > > > of it. Considering that I've told my wife several times that upon > > > > winning the big lotto I would set her up with whatever she wanted and > > > > that I was chao chao bambino, whether I would follow through with that > > > > is another story, I may never want to leave her. I do have a great > > > > deal of love for her and I do call it love but it's not what it should > > > > be I guess, not sure. She is a great woman in a lot of ways, I will > > > > take care of her the best I can and protect her from anyone intending > > > > harm of any sort and kill if I had to, maybe that is the instinctive > > > > male in me, I don't do Ghandi. I still lust after women in the public > > > > arena who flaunt their sensuality and camo their wily ways. However I > > > > couldn't imagine having a relationship with them beyond patronizing > > > > passion and sometimes wonder if love is that thing in my mind or that > > > > thing in my pants. There are those that reveal a true sense of > > > > sincerity beyond the physical and are as you say most worthy of true > > > > love, but as you know, they can change. > > > > These days I just simply say, My Love, whatever my capacity is to > > > > love, that is how much I am capable of loving and you have all the > > > > love I am capable of. > > > > > .......and no matter how many women I sleep with I always come home to > > > > you, Darlin!<<<Joke, Joke > > > > > On Apr 29, 9:31 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote:> > > > > And no,this isn't a wide open generic question. I'm not interested in > > > > agape here, this is strictly for eros. > > > > > > I'm a hopeless romantic and serial monogamist. I fall in love hard > > > > > and quickly if I find someone worthy of such, put my all Into > > > > > maintaining long term romantic relationships, despite my personal > > > > > challenges, and against all logic remain a believer in the concept of > > > > > a happily ever after relationship despite a spotty relationship > > > > > record and a generally rational to cynical worldview on every other > > > > > topic. Love is such a basic human instinct to me. > > > > > > Perspectives on Love vary drastically though, and I've heard a > > > > > surprisingly diverse number of them recently. So, I'm putting the > > > > > question out to each of you, not as a debate, but as an invitation to > > > > > expound what your perception of the nature of Love is, in your life. > > > > > There are no wrong answers, so have at it. > > > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
