I think I understand and I do appreciate your words here Vam. We all, each of us, deserve to be surrounded by those that love us unconditionally, and allow us to be who we are as we evolve and awaken. The key for me has been to provide this to those around me. I have found that in doing so, I am surrounded by folks who can love in the same way. This does not mean that I allow myself to be exploited or abused, because I think that a part of unconditional love is bringing such behavior by the other to light, and then moving away from it, allowing the other to learn or not. There are times when compassion is enough and the relationship becoming peripheral is in perfect order. Your unconditional love then includes honesty, appreciation and psychological safety for all. These can be provided through deep intimacy or great distance. There is a grace that leads the way.
On May 4, 12:49 am, Vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > " Affection, in all forms, is an extremely valuable and important part > of the relationship to me ... " > > And Grace, both while giving to and receiving from ... But, valuable > and important as they are, these are still the atmospherics. The > crucial part is the quality of ' being ' individuals sense within > themselves, and the opportunity they have to ' be ' themselves, to > grow and evolve and continue to transform the ' I - Space ' within to > greater sense of strength, happiness, freedom and self - discovery. > > We are all striving for that rich and pregnant ground of ' I - space ' > in which our finitude dissolves. The others are important to us, in > this context, for the atmospherics they cause or contribute to. It can > aid or mar the ' awakening.' > > We each love the other, for the love of our Self ! > > ( I waited long before punching the ' Send ' button, wondering if what > I'm posting makes any sense. Even, if it is appropriate ? ) > > On May 4, 7:57 am, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > I think (a very necessary disclaimer in topics such as these) that the > > secret may be to only require commitment from your partner, to continue to > > freely be who you are, and expect the same from them, and to strive for the > > happy balance of compromise and acceptance in the places where friction > > inevitably occurs. Sometimes we align ourselves with partners who have > > drastically different life goals, and that's simply not possible. Other > > times our partners, or we ourselves, are in a self destructive place which > > is simply not conducive to a healthy relationship. If, however, we are both > > aligned similarly, and both committed to that goal, then a zen state of > > love, where it is not questioned, but simply is, seems to me to be the path > > to a long term bliss. > > > If everyday, despite the day I've had, I make the effort to express some > > portion of Eros energy to my partner, even if in no other form than text > > message, I've "been", in the zen sense, affirmed the love, made it be by > > being it. When that is affirmed in reply, that circle is completed. The > > actual physical expenditure of the ritual is miniscule, yet the effect is > > powerful. > > > Affection, in all forms, is an extremely valuable and important part of the > > relationship to me, which Is just one of the many ides of Love I inherit > > from my Father. He's still married to my Mom, and from all appearances, > > still in love with her in an Eros kind of way. :-D It's a strong archetype > > to have in your head of what a long term love can be. I can't imagine the > > idea of my Father being unfaithful to my Mom. It's inconceivable to me. > > > It strikes me Neil that one of the problems with Love is that most of the > > wisdom about it doesn't come until our later years, and many of us either > > don't have a proper Sage around, or are a bit too damn fool hardy in our > > youths to listen if we do. > > > [ Attached Message ]From:archytas <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds > > Eye\"" <[email protected]>Date:Sun, 3 May 2009 18:30:21 -0700 > > (PDT)Local:Mon, May 4 2009 6:30 amSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What is the > > nature of Love? > > > There is some thinking that love is over-stated and leads to over- > > expectation, perhaps rather strangely making loving relationship more > > difficult than it needs to be. Raising any of us fallible humans to a > > golden pedestal is to put whoever it is before a fall. One can > > certainly be loving and it appears this can be reciprocal, though I'd > > expect this to be less than perfect or bound in mutual illusions. > > Freedom from exploitation seems key to me, along with some form of > > understanding on equality. I can say that I wish I had been better > > able to enjoy sex earlier in my life through some decent education > > about it. > > > On 4 May, 01:07, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Exactly, trust is essential to the bond, it is the adhesive quality > > > that transforms two into one. The bond can be broken and repaired but > > > it forever has the crack that remains a visible detraction and > > > possibly a perpetual doubt which can fester at anytime under testing > > > situations, such as out of town overnight business meetings or the > > > introduction of a past friend, literally anything can set off the > > > process of relationship erosion. I can only wish that everyone would > > > find that special soul mate and live happily ever after. > > > > On May 3, 3:54 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I agree completely about fidelity. For some, a dip in another pool > > > > provides added excitement...but for me, it cracks the foundation of the > > > > love I have, irreparably, no matter which person is to blame. Trust is > > > > key for me, and without faithfulness, there is no trust. > > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:Slip Disc <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds Eye\"" > > > > <[email protected]>Date:Sun, 3 May 2009 12:48:43 -0700 > > > > (PDT)Local:Sun, May 3 2009 2:48 pmSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: What is the > > > > nature of Love? > > > > > It must be Chris being that you posted twice on it, lol, thanks. > > > > > I might add that much of my feelings at this point are based on the > > > > fact that she is without exception my best friend in the world. The > > > > monogamy issue for me is moot as I would hurt as much as she would, > > > > and mutually so. I guess in that sense the love factor reveals itself > > > > to be the core driven emotion that keeps us together. When that > > > > emotion is present, the thought of infidelity never enters the mind. > > > > Love, being faithful, gives relationships integrity and provides a > > > > sound platform on which to continue building. Newly founded > > > > relationships or marriages are like a complete white circle that > > > > accumulates black spots for each little transgression, larger spots > > > > for more serious infractions. As time goes by the circle may seem > > > > more black than white and the imbalance weighs heavier on the side of > > > > failure due to the loss of integrity, eventually with nothing left the > > > > relationship collapses. We can fantasize all we want about how much > > > > greener the grass is on the other side but truth is it takes mutual > > > > effort no matter where the grass is. I would venture to guess that > > > > there is that one perfect soul mate relationship out there waiting for > > > > us to find it, that being the hardest part of it all. > > > > > On Apr 29, 11:45 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > I think this is my favorite post from you ever, Slip. > > > > > > [ Attached Message ]From:Slip Disc <[email protected]>To:"\"Minds > > > > > Eye\"" <[email protected]>Date:Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:24:10 > > > > > -0700 (PDT)Local:Wed, Apr 29 2009 11:24 pmSubject:[Mind's Eye] Re: > > > > > What is the nature of Love? > > > > > > I don't know that I could identify with true love anymore, not in the > > > > > way I did 40 years ago when the heart was expendable for the sake of > > > > > the other, when self didn't matter and all the other feelings we have > > > > > when "Love" takes over. Sometimes I wish I could have been more the > > > > > way I am today back then as it would have saved many of my hearts and > > > > > dollars. Now I could care less for it, though I do have some spurts > > > > > of it. Considering that I've told my wife several times that upon > > > > > winning the big lotto I would set her up with whatever she wanted and > > > > > that I was chao chao bambino, whether I would follow through with that > > > > > is another story, I may never want to leave her. I do have a great > > > > > deal of love for her and I do call it love but it's not what it should > > > > > be I guess, not sure. She is a great woman in a lot of ways, I will > > > > > take care of her the best I can and protect her from anyone intending > > > > > harm of any sort and kill if I had to, maybe that is the instinctive > > > > > male in me, I don't do Ghandi. I still lust after women in the public > > > > > arena who flaunt their sensuality and camo their wily ways. However I > > > > > couldn't imagine having a relationship with them beyond patronizing > > > > > passion and sometimes wonder if love is that thing in my mind or that > > > > > thing in my pants. There are those that reveal a true sense of > > > > > sincerity beyond the physical and are as you say most worthy of true > > > > > love, but as you know, they can change. > > > > > These days I just simply say, My Love, whatever my capacity is to > > > > > love, that is how much I am capable of loving and you have all the > > > > > love I am capable of. > > > > > > .......and no matter how many women I sleep with I always come home to > > > > > you, Darlin!<<<Joke, Joke > > > > > > On Apr 29, 9:31 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> > > > > > wrote:> And no,this isn't a wide open generic question. I'm not > > > > > interested in agape here, this is strictly for eros. > > > > > > > I'm a hopeless romantic and serial monogamist. I fall in love hard > > > > > > and quickly if I find someone worthy of such, put my all Into > > > > > > maintaining long term romantic relationships, despite my personal > > > > > > challenges, and against all logic remain a believer in the concept > > > > > > of a happily ever after relationship despite a spotty relationship > > > > > > record and a generally rational to cynical worldview on every other > > > > > > topic. Love is such a basic human instinct to me. > > > > > > > Perspectives on Love vary drastically though, and I've heard a > > > > > > surprisingly diverse number of them recently. So, I'm putting the > > > > > > question out to each of you, not as a debate, but as an invitation > > > > > > to expound what your perception of the nature of Love is, in your > > > > > > life. There are no wrong answers, so have at it. > > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
